Spanx Unveils “Force Fit” Line of Body Slimmers in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Ever wonder how JJ Abrams managed to get the original cast of Star Wars back into fighting shape for Episode VII? Fad diet? Tai-bo? Zumba? Nope! The director used an entirely practical special effect that required little to no effort on anyone’s part. Abrams partnered with Spanx by Sara Blakely to create a custom line of innovative body slimmers for returning stars Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and several others. After the jump, we squeeze our source for every last detail.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens is shaping up nicely – and so is the cast – thanks to an all-new line of bodysuits, booty slimmers, and leggings from Spanx by Sara Blakely. Director JJ Abrams has been keen on recreating the look and feel of the original trilogy, and his efforts have extended to include the original waistlines of the actors involved.
“I’m no magician, but if we can somehow get Mark, Carrie, and Harrison to cut some weight, the film will feel like the authentic Star Wars everyone knows and loves, not the bloated mess it’s become.”
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| JJ Sporting crotch-slimming Force Fit Spanx |
Abrams flirted with a number of size-cutting measures before deciding to partner with the Georgia-based Spanx. Using CG proved tricky as many of the returning actors had put on weight in their faces.
“Jowels, double chins, and rogue neckbeards don’t care about visual consistency. One day they’re 2 inches wide, 6 inches across. The next they’re 6 inches wide, 2 inches across. And no amount of lens flare can hide that.”
Body doubles seemed a viable approach, but it also proved to be the wrong fit for the production. Despite matching the sizes of the actors, Abrams felt the actual skin of the doubles was too young and pliable to pass as 60-year old flesh. Then one day, fate stepped in. Abrams inadvertently wore what he believed to be his wife’s spandex booty shorts to Soul Cycle, and the effect it had on the gorgeous cyclist spinning in front of him was undeniable.
“Brad finally looked at me! Me! And he said ‘Can I call you J, because you’re half the man you used to be.’ I was speechless, and that’s when I knew whatever I was wearing would be perfect for the film!”
Abrams quickly reached out to Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, and one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people in the world. Blakely jumped at the chance to be part of the production. The two formed an unprecedented partnership, with the designer spearheading a new line of “Force Fit” Spanx inspired by characters from the Star Wars universe.
“As a lifelong fan of Star Wars, this is a dream come true. The Starfleet uniforms have inspired many of my fashions over the years. I’m really looking forward to slimming down Star-Lord for the next volume, and giving fans of Star Gate the opportunity to look just as trim and ready for action… and dance-offs!”
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| “May the Force Fit Spanx be with you long and prosperously.” |
While Star Wars fans and Spanx wearers are thrilled by the footage of the film shown thus far, not everyone is on board with Abram’s use of the stretchy material. In a widely publicized spat, the creator of Star Wars had his notes and sketches dismissed by Abrams and head of Lucasfilm, Kathleen Kennedy.
“I love Lucas like an estranged uncle, but he wanted to give the returning actors even less screen time than the noobies. He insisted that Mark, Harry, and Car gain a few sizes. Can you imagine? George said they needed to fill the frame in every shot they were in, since they wouldn’t have that much screen time.”
It seems Lucas has since had a change of heart. A gardener cousin of mine claims to have spotted the creator of Star Wars wearing a pair of Spanx “Force Fit” Jakku Jhorts (jean short slimmers) recently on his estate.
As for the Spanx “Force Fit” line itself, Sara Blakely left no stone unturned. She designed body shapers inspired by both the returning characters as well as the next generation of Star Wars heroes and villains. Below is an exclusive sneak peek at the most anticipated pieces from the collection:
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| Han Solo in Spanx gear during a dance scene at Maz Kanata’s. |
Rear Admiral Han Solo
- The Weight Smuggler vesticle with built-in leak protection
- Belly Blaster DL-44 for a great shot at abdominals
- Extreme Pie-Letting body stocking designed to minimize sweet storage
- Meal-ennium Control muffler for camouflaging goiters
- Love Han-dler corset with industry-leading side control
- Glutes First man-tywear for ass compacting
Queen Leia Organa Solo
- Gastronomic Immunity slip for bypassing the laws of physics
- Jedi Body Trick leggings to ensure “these aren’t the thighs you’re looking for”
- I Glove You, I Know body slimmer for a second skin that fits like a glove two sizes too small
- Twin Tamer tankini that makes small work of even the biggest busts
Master Jedi Luke Skywalker
- The Master’s Hideaway high wasted thong for the naked truth from a certain point of view
- Force Squeeze microfiber tights with built-in chafe protection and industry-leading cankle-fighting abilities
Chewbacca
- Wookiee DoughCaster bodysuit turns hairy bread baskets into hairy washboards
- Kashyyyk So Chic lace-trimmed teddy for a slim and stylish look perfect for tree hopping
- SlimFast & the Furrious open-bust shapewear slip takes you from zero to hero in no time flat
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| No Dagobah ass here! |
R2D2
- Beeeeeeeeep 2 Beep knee pant with slim X for that extra compact tri-pod look
- AssTromech Trimmer reduces droid lump and prevents Dagobah ass
- OU812NP firm control camisole hides pounds as if they were Death Star plans
Admiral Ackbar
- Trapper Keeper thigh high leggings for a strategic victory against cellulite
- The Mon CalAmazing luxe lace bra turns any old fish into the cat’s meow
C-3PO
- Fool’s Gold panties slim the waistline, while stuffing the crotch to simulate formidable male genitalia
- Protocol of Booty creates posterior definition that says WOW in over 6,000,000 forms of communication
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| Kylo Ren posing with Snoke and Captain Panaka II |
Kylo Ren
- The CrossGourd Saver hipster power panties can efficiently distribute weight via side vents to ensure a super skinny emo look under your robe
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| More like seX-Wing! |
Poe Dameron
- Fly Boy firming boxer briefs keep your whirly-bird flying light with little to no baggage
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| Prototype of Captain Phasma’s Abs Phabulous Slimmer |
Greg Grunberg as Greg Grunberg
(Editor’s note 1: Greg will be playing many roles in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and as of this writing, Spanx is planning a mini collection of shapewear dedicated to his various weighty roles. Details are forthcoming.)
(Editor’s note 2: Kevin Smith recently visited the set one day, and was brought to tears upon trying on one of Greg’s bodyshapers.)
BB-8
- Roll Control B-neck shirt firms up the appearance of curves to stop people in their tracks
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| Rey gearing up to fix the Falcon. |
Rey
- Eat, Rey, Love featherweight firmer hides midichlorian weight in plain sight
- Junk in the Trunk Compactor underwear turns a badonkadonk into a much slimmer badonk
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| Finnspiration in action! |
Finn
- Sveltetrooperchaps creates a slim and sexy shape, which will make you First Ordered on the most elite of menus
- The Finnspiration camisole nips and tucks your body without ever putting you under the knife
That’s just a taste of what JJ Abrams and Sara Blakely have in store for us with their Spanx “Force Fit” collaboration, but we’re already sold. To quote my cousin Rafiq, who runs a fledgling Etsy store:
“Sith is toyt!”
Star Wars: The Force Awakens certainly appears to represent a return to form for the saga as well as everyone involved. Less really is more. Take a note, Uncle George.
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“Spanx surrounds us, and penetrates us; it binds the universe together.”
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