Confirmed! Shia LaBeouf Cast in Star Wars Episode VIII!
Hot off Jacen’s cousin’s presses! Transformers/Even Stevens star Shia LaBeouf has been cast in Rian Johnson’s Star Wars Episode VIII! See who he is playing after the jump.
Shia is known for his rebellious punk-turned-hero characters in just about everything he has ever starred in. Episode VIII will be no different.
Jacen’s cousin, who works at LaBeouf’s favorite Taco Bell in Albuquerque, New Mexio, learned that Sam Witwicky has been cast as a Resistance pilot who is the son of a legendary smuggler. I know what you’re thinking… he looks nothing like this guy!
Shia is playing the son Han Solo never knew he had. Post-Return of the Jedi, Han and Leia hit a rough patch in their relationship resulting in them calling it quits. Han sunk into a deep depression so Chewie, Lando, and Luke took him on a cantina crawl across the galaxy to try and cheer him up.
They ended up on Lothal and hit up Old Jho’s, now under the ownership of Ezra and Sabine Bridger. While playing a game of Sabbac, Han spotted a beautiful woman. He was drunk but she was into him, recognizing him as a Rebel hero. Han learned her name was Kika Rendar and they went back to her place and they… well… you know.
Long story short, Han got her pregnant after a one night stand, and she gave birth to a boy named… wait for it… Dash Rendar! Kika never told Han and raised Dash on her own. He ended up growing into a rebellious young man since he never had a father figure.
They eventually move to Jakku to become dealers of high-end junk and antiques with Kika’s father, Vicar Rendar (Max von Sydow). When Finn and Rey cross paths during Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Dash’s mother dies a fiery death when Kylo Ren comes to Jakku and starts blowing sh!t up. Young Dash swears vengeance against the wicked Kylo Ren and joins the Resistance to fight him.
Okay, so I know what you’re thinking. Dash Rendar is from the Shadows of the Empire novel/video game/comic book. That’s right, but if you remember, the old expanded universe has been essentially rebooted, so Mr. Render and his sassy droid LEEBO no longer exist. The guys at Disney in the Lucasfilm story group thought “Dash Rendar” was just too cool of a name to let go to waste so they used it for Harrison Ford’s unknown son. Cut them some slack, it could have been Mutt Williams/Han Solo Jr. Oh, and we also hear Dash will take out a First Order AT-ST with only a blaster.
As for LEEBO the droid, LaBeouf is lobbying hard for Disney execs to cast long-time friend Steven Anthony Lawrence better known as Beans on Even Stevens. The pair of actors have remained close over the years with Lawrence acting as LaBeouf’s assistant when he’s not serving as muse for one of the Renaissance man’s varied art performance projects. Great to see bros sticking together!
Anywho, we here at FakingStarWars are looking forward to seeing Louis Stevens and Beans back under the Mouse’s roof.
Great to have you back Shia!! (and friend)
