Jimmy Smits Confirms Lucasfilm Paycheck for Mystery Project
El Barrio, New York — Emmy and ALMA award winning actor Jimmy Smits is officially on the Disney payroll! According to sources, a hefty envelope was trucked in to Smits’ estate last week by a team of Mouseketeers accompanied by a considerable security detail. When pressed for comment, the actor gave FSW the following exclusive statement:
I’m thrilled to be part of the Disney family. The Pirates franchise is one near and dear to my heart, and I look forward to slathering my butter pecan sexy all over the next installment.
Everywhere I go, people tell me I look like the love child of Captain Morgan and Antonio Banderas, so in a way, this is a role I was born to play. And hey, if it’s Star Wars again, or a live adaptation of a cartoon, or the voice of an animal in something, I am equally excited.
While I can’t really go into specifics, I can tell you this much: Mr & Mrs. Smits are getting sweet new summer digs.
This is huge news for Rogue One fans, as it confirms what everyone always suspected: Bail Organa is corrupt and motivated by greed, both onscreen and off.
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–William “Willybobo” Bobo