Disney Threatens Legal Action Over Phrase “Darker than Empire”

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BURBANK, CALIFORNIA — Citing claims of false advertising and anti-consumer laws, lawyers for the Walt Disney Company have sent warnings to every major Hollywood studio regarding a controversial trend in fandom film marketing. According to our sources, the kerfuffle centers on use of the term “darker than Empire” in the marketing of films. Clearly a reference to the most critically acclaimed Star Wars saga film is likely to help lesser movies attract an audience. But when the product turns out to be more along the lines of The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D, there may need to be legislation in place to protect nerds and cineastes alike.

Of course the term “darker than Empire” isn’t exactly new. Films as far back as Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Caddyshack 2 have been using the phrase or a variation of it to draw in the same core geek demographic.

In the last ten years, however, the explosion of fandom and rise of superhero films has seen the phrase bandied about more than ever.

“Let’s get one thing straight: there will never be anything as dark as [The Empire Strikes Back]. And if there is, it will be a Star Wars film wholly owned and distributed by Disney,” said an anonymous Mouse House employee.

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The last straw came over the weekend when JA Bayonetta, the director of the upcoming Jurassic World sequel described his militarized dinosaur romp as “darker than Empire.” FSW did some digging and as it turns out, Bayonetta hasn’t even seen Episode V, according to one of his Italian Facebook friends.

“We didn’t let Gareth use it to promote Rogue One, and we slapped Adam Driver for describing Episode VIII with those words, so do you really think we’re going to let some random schmoe outta film school use the term to sell some B movie made by Universal?”

We reached out to JA Bayonetta on Facebook for a comment, and were quickly blocked and reported, but not before being sent several bizarre screengrabs of Italian horror films by the director. Some would describe such behavior as “darker than…” D’oh!

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Disney’s announcement has fandom up in arms already. Fans of DC’s “Snyderverse” are claiming Zack Snyder films are “way more grimdark than Empire!” FSW is not quite sure where the lawyers stand on qualifiers of dark.

In any case, let’s hope no other films tarnish the legacy of The Empire Strikes Back.

For the latest on this and all other so fake they gotta be real Star Wars stories, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net

-William “Willybobo” Bobo

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Willybobo

Hailing from the fictional planet of Yarvin IV, which is populated by bumblebee people, is Willybobo. As the Editor-in-chief of FSW, he strives to make the Star Wars fan community a better place for nerds and geeks everywhere. Willybobo was a very active member of the Cantina Star Wars fan forum so you may recognize him from there. He lives with an urn carrying the ashes of his former master, and spends all day asking the mighty Sheev for advice.

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