Poe Dameron Tosses Lyn Me; Witnesses Say She Made Bloody Threat

Poe Dameron and Lyn Me

Poe Dameron bounced dancer turned rapper Lyn Me out of his hotel suite when she turned into the “plus one” from hell. Lyn threatened to cut Dameron’s guests and watch them bleed, according to multiple witnesses. The bizarre incident went down Saturday night at Dameron’s room at the Porso Hill Hotel on Naboo. Dameron had invited about 10 people over to have dinner and listen to music. One of his guests was Lando Calrissian, who brought Lyn along.

Poe Dameron is a dancing machine... wink wink.
Dameron dancing with the senator of Naboo.

According to eyewitness accounts the trouble started when Lyn laughed out loud at Dameron’s music selection. She then called him and at least one other guest, “boring white human”. FSW is told a female guest, supposedly the senator of Naboo, jumped to Dameron’s defense and suggested Me pipe down. Instead, we’re told she made an insane speech/threat to Dameron and the woman:

“You would love it if I broke my glass, stabbed you guys in the throat. Blood would squirt everywhere like some real Clone Wars s***.”

Then for good measure, witnesses say she dropped a few f-bombs, yet Dameron remained surprisingly calm. Lyn reached for her glass, cocked it back and that’s when Poe had enough. He grabbed her in a bear hug and carried her out of the suite. He then called hotel security guards who removed Lyn from the grounds. Lyn posted a different version of events, claiming Dameron called her a moofmilker, choked her, threw her out then spit on her. At least 4 of the guests gave statements during the investigation, and all used the word “erratic” to describe Lyn’s behavior. For the record, Calrissian has been quoted that Lyn used the term “moofmilker,” not Poe.

Stay tuned to Faking Star Wars as this develops. Be sure to follow us on Twitter! @FakingStarWars @LinkVoxx.

–Link Voxx

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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