Bill Nye Visited by Ghost of Sithmas Past
Over the weekend noted science educator and television personality Bill Nye was visited by the Ghost of Sithmas Past. While details are still emerging, FSW was able to piece together a tale of revenge that seems to have started during the Rogue One: A Star Wars Story premiere.
Bill Nye “The Science Guy” was among the many creators and celebrity Star Wars fans to walk the red carpet during the event. Most of these “luminous beings” praised Gareth Edwards’ film and expressed how excited they were to see the Star Wars universe expand beyond the mainline saga films. Nye, however, used his appearance to spark controversy. When speaking to hosts of the televised event, Nye claimed the Force did not really exist, and believing in its principles was just plain silly.
Once Nye realized a Star Wars premiere was perhaps not the best place to further his scientific agenda, he backtracked and claimed he was joking. Unfortunately for him, the Sith failed to see the humor in his words.
From what neighbors describe, it appears Nye was visited by Darth Bane, the Sith famous for creating the Rule of Two. A helmeted creation of pure dark side energy confronted Nye in his home office laboratory.
“Beakers went flying and Bill was suspended in mid-air. He started screaming that it was only a joke, but the strange burning man wasn’t having any of it,” said neighbor Suzanne Flynn.
After 15 minutes of sheer terror in the Nye household, the fire demon up and vanished.
According to Jerry Flynn, “Bill screamed Uncle over and over, and then the Shredder-looking guy gave him one of those nasty wedgies where they snap your underoos over your head. Everything returned to normal after that.”
Nye is currently in good condition at his local hospital. FSW wishes him a speedy recovery, and will continue to investigate reports of three ghostly apparitions seen giggling outside the backyard window.
As always, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net for unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
