Solo Trailer Causes Fatal Nitpicking Accident
A Florida man was found dead in his mancave after a 48-hour marathon of nitpicking the latest trailer for Solo: A Star Wars Story. According to neighbors, the man was involved in small talk early Monday with a neighborhood cat, which quickly grew heated as the pair debated the upcoming Star Wars spinoff. “He was yelling at the pussy, something about Disney and Ron Howard… I think the cat really liked the Solo trailer, and well, that was all she wrote.” We’re told the distraught man spent the next 48 hours nitpicking the trailer for some sort of showdown with the stray cat. “The cops found printouts, sketches and a 35-page thesis on why the Han Solo trailer sucks… there was also a 4-hour video ready to be uploaded to YouTube… but none of it will ever see the light of day now. It’s a shame too… he was pretty funny when heated. Oh well.” The official cause of death is being ruled an accident as the man failed to eat, drink, sleep, or use the restroom during his nitpicking binge. We reached out to the cat lady who feeds the local strays for a comment on this story, but were unable to locate her in a 5-block radius.
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