Sequel TrilogyThe Rise of Skywalker

Why Mace Windu Will Be In Episode IX According To Nerd Of Color 

This week, FSW received an email from someone named “Nerd of Color,” who wanted a platform to lay out his/her Star Wars theory. As friends to all fans, naturally we obliged. Below is Nerd of Color’s guest editorial. We hope you enjoy:

Let’s address the elephant in the room first. Defenestration or death from being thrown out a window, for those unfamiliar with the term, cannot kill powerful Force sensitive beings. Once you acknowledge this reality, you will be prepared for the truth bomb I’m about to drop on you.

Jedi Master Mace Windu is alive and well, and living in the hearts and minds of true Star Wars fans everywhere. Need I remind you, according to The Maker himself, George friggin’ Lucas, Windu is still among the living. That should be enough to make it canon to any fan worth their weight in midi-chlorians.

But not everyone can be as blessed as me. So for those non-believers out there, I will lay out an inarguable case that Windu is indeed among the living, and very likely to appear in The Rise Of Skywalker.

1. In Attack of the Clones, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker manages to drop from a speeder, falling thousands of feet, controlling his descent and perfectly timing it to grab onto Zam Wesell’s speeder. Mind you, Skywalker is sporting a non-aerodynamic mullet at the time.

Now consider the beautifully bald Mace Windu’s fate in Revenge of the Sith. After soundly defeating the Emperor, Windu is betrayed by Anakin, who cuts his right hand off. Palpatine proceeds to blast Windu with Sith lightning for about 10 seconds before flinging him out the window into the very same traffic-heavy Coruscant skyscape that Anakin so easily navigated in Attack of the Clones.

Maybe Windu was in shock, but I seriously doubt a fearless warrior such as Windu would be paralyzed with fear from losing a hand and some blue static from Palpatine. We never see Windu’s fall, and I’d argue he could have easily glided down onto one of the many terrace’s among the skyscrapers or grabbed onto a passing speeder. What’s much less likely to have happened is Windu simply falling like a stone to his death.

2. Windu was the ultimate Jedi badass. He is regarded as the Jedi Order’s greatest champion and that’s not some token label, either. As a youngling, Windu built his first lightsaber under Jedi Master Cyslin Myr – no small feat!

But his battle skills are not what make Windu so great, his mentoring is where he really shines. Upon becoming a Jedi Master, Windu trained Depa Billaba to become a Jedi Knight, but even more impressive, Billaba was worthy enough to serve on the High Council alongside her former Master.  There is no way such a decorated Jedi Master is bested by defenestration.

3. Black don’t crack!

4. If the Sarlacc did not kill Boba Fett, if an infinite drop into an exploding Death Star did not kill The Emperor, if being cut in half and falling into a power reactor shaft did not kill Darth Maul, then a similar fall after having his hand cut off and a few seconds of Sith lightning (which Luke took much more of, and lived, while not a Jedi Master) DID NOT KILL MACE WINDU.

Thank you. No one is ever really gone, and that means people of color, too.

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on TwitterInstagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.

—Nerd of Color

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Faking Star Wars Staff

In late 2014 and early 2015 two friends were trolling a popular message board posting false leaks and spoilers of the then in production Star Wars: The Force Awakens under many varying monikers. After coming forward about their trolling they took their fake stories and posted them to their own website, Faking Star Wars in March 2015. Those friends were "Faking" Jacen Solo and Sheevel Knievel. Today their comedic legacy continues as they venture into new real life adventures and pass the "Faking" baton into new capable hands. From false news to satiric "Top Tens" Faking Star Wars is the fan site for you! We are dedicated to creating Star Wars rumors that are 100% fake. We out-scoop other sites by creating the scoops ourselves. You know it's fake, we know it's fake, no one gets butt hurt. May the Faux be with you. We are in no way affiliated with Lucasfilm, Bad Robot, or The Walt Disney Company. All articles are for comedic/parody purposes only. Enjoy.

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