Exclusive! First Look at Chewbacca in The Force Awakens! Role Explained!
There has been tons of speculation on the new characters in Star Wars: The Force Awakens but we haven’t heard much about one of the most beloved Star Wars characters of all. FSW got the exclusive drop on that walking carpet we all know and love from one of our most trusted sources. We also have two images that are supposedly from the set of The Force Awakens, see them after the jump!
The biggest mystery surrounding Chewie has always been what’s he got in that bag? Even Ludacris asked the question in his 2001 single Roll Out. Everyone knows Chewie wields the murse like a Norse god swinging a hammer in the cold night air. Nowadays it appears Chewie’s signature bag serves his medical needs.
It’s no secret the latter years of Wookiee life aren’t easy on the bowels. The murse carries a colostomy bag made of none other than the silky smooth skin of Ewok flesh. This is no ordinary Ewok flesh though. Our source confirms it is the flesh of Chewie’s deceased Ewok lover Nibjit who he met during the Battle of Endor. After Han refused to let Chewie take time to return to Kashyyk to find a Wookiee wife, Chewie decided to yub his new found lover’s nub. Every wonder why Chewie is making that face while standing in the corner? Now you know why.
Our source also told us about Chewie’s robotic prosthetics newly installed in The Force Awakens. We’ve been told coded documents reveal early scenes in TFA include Boba Fett (Sly Stallone) utilizing that heavy right cross heavily damaging one of those beautiful brown Wookiee eyes. No need to panic though! The Star Wars universe has cutting edge prosthetics that can make anyone strong enough to pull ears off a Gundark! Chewie will loose the crossbow in favor of his new laser eye which not only acts as a weapon but also has a unique X-Ray scan feature that works great for seeing beneath female Wookiee fur!
Stay tuned to Faking Star Wars for more poops I mean scoops!
