Exclusive: David Lynch Departs Twin Peaks Revival for Star Wars:Episode IX
Just when you thought Twin Peaks couldn’t get any weirder, the eagerly anticipated return of the cult classic is now deader than Laura Palmer. Co-creator slash uber-kook, David Lynch, has suddenly dropped out of the project, citing Showtime’s budgetary constraints as the murderer. But the owls are not what they seem… we’ve heard Lynch nixed the third season of Twin Peaks because of a little project called STAR WARS: EPISODE IX! Details after a damn fine cup of jump.
It appears Showtime’s planned Twin Peaks revival has been derailed by the most iconic film saga of all time. Season 3 of the cult show was set to start shooting 9 original scripts by series creators David Lynch and Mark Frost. That’s before Showtime read the scripts, which, if shot as written, would come in way over the budget the creators and network had agreed to. Showtime was willing to pitch in a few more bucks for production, but only if Lynch and Frost took a cut in the backend profits they were promised. Lynch balked at the deal, announcing it in a series of Tweets.
Sadly, we’ve learned Lynch, who is currently without an agent or manager, did not consult with his long-time lawyer or co-creator Mark Frost before putting the kibosh on Twin Peaks.
Showtime immediately issued a statement:
We were saddened to read David Lynch’s statement today since we believed we were working towards solutions with David and his reps on the few remaining deal points. SHOWTIME also loves the world of Twin Peaks and we continue to hold out hope that we can bring it back in all its glory with both of its extraordinary creators, David Lynch and Mark Frost, at its helm.
The network’s top brass also personally reached out to Lynch in hopes of reaching an agreement, and salvaging the project.
The cast of Twin Peaks has also tried to mediate by launching a #SaveTwinPeaks movement organized by our waifu, Madchen Amick, who played Shelly Johnson on the show.
The ageless beauty published a supercut of clips with various Twin Peaks actors saying “Twin Peaks without David Lynch is like…”
Not to be outdone, we hear another ageless beauty (Jake Lloyd) is planning on starting a #SaveStarWars movement with a video of himself, Ahmed Best, and a few other prequel actors saying “Star Wars without George Lucas is like…”
But back to Lynch. Our source known only as “Bob” claims Lynch purposely wrote scripts that would be overbudget to produce in order to kill the project. He included entirely CG characters, drone owls, and a genuine forest made of thousands of hand-painted red trees. All because of a call he received while writing Twin Peaks with Mark Frost.
Bob Iger, Kathleen Kennedy, and JJ Abrams rang Lynch and made a pitch, which the eccentric director could not ignore. They offered Lynch directorial duties on Star Wars: Episode IX.
Now, before you scream “Too Fake to be Fake!” we’ll remind you of a few things:
- David Lynch was offered the directing gig for Return of the Jedi. He turned it down because he was none too fond of the childish creations Lucas wanted to include… the ewoks and Jabba’s palace musical number gave Lynch a headache just thinking about them.
- KK and JJ in particular are openly dismissive about Lucas’ prequels, which were filled with the same kinds of nonsense Lynch had issues with in regards to Return of the Jedi.
- Lynch went on to direct the big-budget disaster-piece Dune, which he’s never forgotten. He loved the world-building but admits to failing… yet he’s still interested in space operas.
- When Lynch heard the title “The Force Awakens” he knew his dream-like narrative would fit the new saga.
That’s why we didn’t laugh “Bob” off the phone.
Plus he delivered the scoop in a spot-on voice impersonation of the giant who visits Agent Dale Cooper at the Great Northern.
In a twist worthy of Lynch, we’ve heard Madchen Amick is said to be up for a large part in Star Wars: Episode IX. In fact, we think her entire #SaveTwinPeaks movement is actually an attempt to kill it. Notice how the video she posted focuses on the actors who’ve aged the worst. No Kyle MacLachlin in sight, and Madchen herself only appears for half a second. Her intent was clear: discourage Showtime from saving a project littered with people who have no business being on premium cable TV. Well done, Shelly, but you can’t fake the fakers.
More on this story as it develops. Bonus pic of Madchens below. Can you spot the fake?
