What’s REALLY Hiding Inside BB-8 During The Force Awakens?
Ever since the release of the first teaser trailer, fans have had a nagging suspicion that there is something valuable hidden inside BB-8. The reasons for this are clear: First, according to Lucas’ “rhyming” theory of film aesthetics, this scenario would mirror A New Hope where R2-D2 becomes the film’s MacGuffin, carrying the hidden Death Star plans. Second, BB-8 just seems to have a concealing nature, like a Bothan spy droid. After the bump, we reveal exactly what BB-8 is hiding down in his core. An FSW exclusive!
Jacen’s cousin, whose step-brother was an electrician that worked in the droid shop on The Force Awakens, recently sent us some very spoilerific info which will definitely cause a row when it hits fan forums and the like. Many fans have speculated that Anakin’s original lightsaber, long-believed to be the object of desire for Kylo Ren, finds its way into BB-8’s bowels at some point in the film. However, FSW’s newest report tells another tale. Instead of a lightsaber, Rey has actually stashed her NEW BORN BABY TWINS in the body of BB-8!
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| Kylo Ren squirrel hunting outside of Maz’s magic castlebar. |
Word on the street is that Rey tried for a long time to get pregnant from Kylo Ren, but his midichlorian count was, ahem, a little low for the job so she left him for an older man on Jakku. Kylo has heard a rumor that Max von Sydow’s character may have gotten things done in the desert, and is now intent on finding the offspring in order to give them a paternity test.
Rey had BB-8 specially designed as a covert infant transportation device, so she could keep the twins close to her while scavenging for objects to sell to help make ends meet.
When Kylo lands on Jakku, Rey enlists the help of Finn to help her scurry the babies away on the Millennium Falcon. There, Han takes notice of them and their conspicuous ball droid. Han becomes obsessed with the infant care unit mechanism that Rey has been using inside of BB-8 to keep the babies safe while the droid rolls around the sands of Jakku. Han uses her innovative technology to begin his own droid baby smuggling cartel. He quickly becomes the richest man in the galaxy.
Another possible parent is also suave Resistance pilot Poe Dameron, as rumors point to him being the “true” owner of BB-8… then again we here at FakingStarWars believe Oscar Isaac is the father to everyone in the galaxy under the age of 24 standard years.
You heard it here first, folks.
