JJ Abrams Gives Exclusive Scoop on Captain Phasma!

September 25, 2015 Storm Duper

FakingStarWars prides itself on tracking down the hottest leaks involving the new Star Wars film — and this one’s a scorcher! We had to pay out at least 10% of our general fund to an unnamed source for a recording of him having lox and bagels with JJ Abrams in New York early last week. We can’t reveal our source for obvious reasons, but we can tell you that he grew up with JJ and later married into the Abrams’ family after the new Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality. We also suspect he may be one of Jacen’s cousins. What did he tell us though? Read on after the break to get the hottest leak of the week!

Much speculation regarding Captain Phasma has hit the internet. Without having any actual information about the character, fans have been dissecting the every photos of the elusive Phasma. One reputable site analyzed her blaster and found elements similar to a lightsaber built into the gun. And we have the reason why.

In an effort to confuse the First Order, the Resistance has sent one of the brightest and boldest into covert action with them. Under the guise of a deadly assassin, the Resistance has infiltrated the upper echelon of the enemy’s hierarchy. It’s someone with experience in dressing up as an assassin. Yup, you guessed it! It’s Princess Leia!

Phasma’s blaster is inspired by Ezra’s lightsaber blaster!

JJ felt that the original role given to Leia was not large enough, so he decided to expand her influence by also making her Captain Phasma. The reveal for this will come about half-way through the film. We here at FSW are not surprised, as we have been predicting Phasma would be a Resistance fighter from the start. However, even we were fooled when we heard this leak!

Much like in A New Hope, Fisher had to have her ample bosom secured with gaffer’s tape to fit into the costume.

Carrie Fisher originally lobbied for the return of Bouschh, but JJ and Kasdan felt that someone with her savvy would never use the same cover twice, even though most of the villains who fell victim to her disguise died in Return of the Jedi. In one nod to Fisher’s desires, however, Captain Phasma has a scene where she threatens someone with a thermal detonator.

Watch out, Snoke! She’s holding a thermal detonator!

Some fans may be disappointed to hear that Gwendoline Christie will not appear in the film. Her casting was used as a colossal play-action fake to keep fans guessing during the production of The Force Awakens. However, it has been reported that Christie ran some of the puppeteering controls for Phasma’s fabulous sidekick, Vivacious Crumb.

Hubba-Hubba! Woossie jawamba boog!

But fear not Brienne of Tarth fans! Rian Johnson wants to see Gwendoline wield a lightsaber and has possibly recast her as a Knight of Ren in Episode VIII! We will track down another of Jacen’s cousins to confirm this but for now take it with a grain of pepper.

Stay tuned Fake Believers!

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