Top 10 Reasons JJ Abrams Is Holding Out On The Force Awakens Trailer!

October 6, 2015 Storm Duper

You may be wondering why JJ Abrams has waited so long to release a full trailer for a film that comes out in less than 2 months. Wonder no more, young padawan! The FSW team has not 1 but 10 theories on why JJ has kept us waiting. Some of these are just for fun, but others are actually based on real leaks that we have received from insiders. See if you can spot which ones are legit!

1. JJ hasn’t decided yet who he wants to play Finn.

After an initial 7 month casting process for Finn, reports are that JJ and other head honchos at Disney aren’t convinced with his performance. The word is that many other actors have been used in test shots and the best choice will be matted in. Apparently JJ wants to give the character a more comedic tone, so the short list is down to Bill Cosby, Larry the Cable Guy, and Dane Cook.

Dane reportedly will play Han Solo in the upcoming anthology film as well.

2. This truck showed up and confiscated it

Yes, it’s true. Armed gunmen disguised as gaffers broke into the editing suites at Lucasfilm and stole the film reels and data backups for the film. No word yet on their motives or organization. Stay tuned.

3. A group of well-funded fans with access to production art have already released their own version of the film and re-edited it with inserted clips of them playing with lightsabers in their backyard. JJ is now embroiled in a massive lawsuit and attempting to distinguish the film by changing key portions to differentiate it from the fans’ version.

4. Mark Hamill’s beard is suing Disney and Lucasfilm for misrepresentation. Hamill himself is okay with how he appears in the money shot of the full trailer, but his beard believes JJ Abrams digitally altered its appearance.

Hamill says he was promised his beard would be 100% practical.

5. Practical effects are still being built. We’ve heard a lot about the fact that JJ wants to give this film a similar feel to the original trilogy. The problem is, those effects take loads of time to build.

6. JJ is spiting fans for making fun of his lens-flair style. “I have feelings. I know I don’t look like it, but I do. whent those fans made that fake version of the trailer with all the lens flair, I was really heart-broken. I went to sleep that night crying into the left-over donuts we bought fans at San Diego Comic Con”.

You diss my style, you pay!

7. Boba Fett hasn’t emerged from the Sarlacc pit yet. We can confirm that the rumors are true about Boba Fett surviving the Sarlacc in Return of the Jedi. But he hasn’t been able to completely free himself yet to shoot a pivotal “passing the torch” scene with Captain Phasma.

8. Last minute script re-writes and character redesigns to add a trans-gendered character. After this year’s big story about Caitlyn Jenner, Disney execs felt the story needed a trans-gendered character to really connect with the culture.

9. North Korea threatens “total war” if Disney releases film, based on austere images of the first order bearing resemblance to North Korea propaganda images. ILM has had to reshoot many shots and digitally change the look of the first order to avoid causing all out total nuclear war with the North Koreans.