Sequel TrilogySpoilers, Leaks, and RumorsThe Force Awakens

Spoilers! Who is Supreme Leader Snoke in The Force Awakens?

STOP READING now if you don’t want to hear the biggest spoiler yet to come out of production for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  The team here at Faking Star Wars has the goods on the origin of Supreme Leader Snoke. Check out the full story after the jump!

Many fans have speculated whether or not Snoke is actually the reincarnation of Darth Plagueis the Wise, as referenced in Revenge of the Sith. The answer is yes and no.  What does that mean?

Jacen’s cousin works as a gardener for one of the Churches that Pope Francis visited on his recent trip to the east coast. During this visit, His Holiness met with the higher-ups at Disney to alert the Vatican to the new mythological considerations that the Holy See should stay apprised of when conducting its ministries with Star Wars fans. Jacen’s cousin was pruning the hedges by the conference room when he overheard this leak:  Plagueis was actually not a Muun as popularly thought in Star Wars canon. Rather, he was a bounty hunter DISGUISED as a Muun!

Plageueis wasn’t a Muun!  He was a Fett all along! 

The disguise was a bio-cosmetic mask made for him by the Kamino cloners from Attack of the Clones. We imagine you can guess now just which bounty hunter he was. Yup, that’s right! Darth Plagueis was none other than JANGO FETT, father to Boba Fett and all the Empire’s clone troopers.  Palpatine did successfully kill one of the clones of Plagueis in his sleep, but he was too late – the process had already begun.  There will be a tremendous scene in The Force Awakens in which Andy Serkis will remove his Muun mask to reveal the face of Kiwi actor Temuera Morrison.

You mean Andy Serkis is playing me pretending to be a Muun? 

In the new film, fans will be treated to not one, but literally THOUSANDS of Darth Plagueises who comprise the forces of the First Order.  Actually the name “first order” is just a code name for the actual term used in the film: The Order of Plagueises. Or – is that Plagueii?  Plaguum?

In fact, one of the important matters of business that the First Order’s General Hux attends to in the first reel of the film will be to galactically standardize the plural form of “Plagueis” in the central linguistic records of the new Empire. We have it on a good source that the agreed upon form is “Plagueisae.”

The Dark Side: Grammar Nazi’s Par Excellance

Resistance fighters attempt to upload a virus into the central computer system of the Order of Plagueisae to change the plural form to “Plagueisen” but are stopped by grammar enforcer Captain Phasma, a descendant of Captain Typo’s. This results in a massive argument between Poe Dameron, debonair linguist, and Phasma involving practical paper and pencil sentence diagram effects and a council of dictionary writers who ultimately end up siding with Poe.  Rumor has it that British actor and known grammar-pedant Stephen Fry was hired as a linguistic consultant for this sequence of the film.

Fry Injects a bit of pith and pedantry into the Star Wars franchise! 

The Plagueisae stormtroopers are led by Snoke, who is one of their kind. His force abilities are the same as any other clone, but he has the distinction of actually having been present when Jango was beheaded at the arena battle by Mace Windu. This gives Snoke serious amounts of street cred with the other Plagueis clones.  After the events of Jedi, Plaguies gathered all the other Plagueisae and created the First Order.

There’s one more colossal spoiler involving the origin of the Knights of Ren and how they fit into Plagueis’ plan. Look for that reveal in a coming story.  

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Storm Duper

Trained in a variety of galactic codes and languages, Storm Duper fancies himself the Resistance’s best chance to destroy the First Order’s vile hold on leaks and news regarding the new franchise of films. In self-imposed exile from his home on Jakku, Storm Duper has taken to going under cover on reconnaissance missions and reporting all the latest true fake news on the Faking Star Wars Radio podcast. Follow him on Twitter, @StormDuper.

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