A Capella Group Pentatonix Hits Sour Note With John Williams
Last night’s American Music Awards on ABC held many surprises for Star Wars fans. During the broadcast, an all-new TV spot for The Force Awakens was unveiled, and the show’s triple threat host JLo later introduced an exclusive clip from the film. But the evening’s biggest moment had to be when Harrison Ford introduced a musical tribute to legendary composer John Williams. The a capella group Pentatonix launched into a unique rendition of the Star Wars theme that has seemingly awakened a very, very Dark Side within the octogenarian. Hear what has Williams so riled up after the jump.
YouTube a capella sensations Pentatonix took to the stage at the American Music Awards and did what they do best: the quintet harmonized to bring to life the Star Wars theme using only their voices. For many viewers in the sweet spot for advertisers — the 18-35 demographic — this may have seemed like a great way to modernize the film’s soundtrack. And perhaps this literal passing of the baton did indeed strike the right chords for them.
Sadly the same cannot be said of anyone over 35, including the man of the hour himself John Williams. A source going by the name Burt Benn sent us exclusive details of just how poorly the Academy and Grammy Award-Winning conductor received the performance.
Keep in mind, Williams had no clue as to the details of his tribute during the American Music Awards. Apparently he was viewing the telecast from the master bedroom in his estate outside Boston. We’re told he’s a closet JLo fan and was in great spirits given her Covergirl Star Wars makeup and cleavage. Things turned south, however, as soon as Williams heard a name he had not heard in a long time. Before a commercial break, JLo mentioned “Pentatonix” in association with a tribute to Star Wars.
We’re told Williams began trashing his bedroom and making the sign of the cross over and over. He demanded a liter of Holy Water be brought in by his nurse, who proceeded to spritz every square inch of the room. Williams had taken issue with the name “Pentatonix” and believed it to be inspired by Satanism.
After lighting several candles and keeping his Bible (King James, Musical Edition) close at hand, the master composer settled back down. Upon seeing his good friend Harrison Ford, he regained his composure and giggled at having over-reacted upon hearing the group’s name. Surely they weren’t hellspawn!
Just as his nurse’s were serving him some popcorn for the occasion though, Williams laid eyes on Pentatonix as they took the stage. The five members of the Sing-Off winners were styled in fashions inspired by characters from the Star Wars universe. Of course, this didn’t help as Williams prefers to score to script instead of picture, and thus, has never actually watched any of the films.
The composer went into immediate shock. Popcorn kernels and Sleepytime Chamomile Tea hit the floor as Williams was knocked unconscious by the Satanic vision chanting a bastardization of his most famous theme.
Fortunately, one of Williams’ live-in nurses managed to revive him with her quick thinking. As soon as the Pentatonix portion of the tribute was over, a symphony was revealed and played the remainder of the iconic theme. The nurse immediately grabbed the remote control and turned the volume way up. Color slowly returned to his cheeks and “the shakes” which have been described as “like the old guy in Metallica’s Unforgiven music video” subsided.
Once revived, Williams became lucid again but was filled with such rage that he had to be restrained against bedposts. We’re told he screamed Bible verses in Latin at the television and tried to projectile vomit but only managed to drip a few drops of tea spittle down his face.
After a tense 10 minutes, Williams was untied and back to his regular self. Apparently the composer was insulted by the Satanic group braying like donkeys, but what hurt him most of all was seeing his good friends do nothing as this sacrilege occurred. Specifically Williams is peeved with Harrison Ford. It seems Ford chose an audience with JLo over defending the musical heritage of Star Wars.
Williams also has no love for his former wingman and tennis doubles partner, Larry “Larr” Kasdan. No one can really explain what the screenwriter was doing there playing the xylophone. Not even Larry.
Before you immediately write Williams off as just another “angry old man screaming at the cloud” we must admit he was not alone in his violent reaction to the bizarre performance. When cameras turned back to JLo after the tribute, she looked disappointed in what she had just heard.
But more damning were the cutaways to the audience during the performance. Seeing people fake excitement for the train wreck onstage delivered enough second-hand embarrassment for the entire free world.
Even Anna Kendrick, star of Pitch Perfect, Pitch Perfect 2, and a Recent Battlefront Commercial could not feign her interest for long. Here we see her break character and simply Pray for Williams.
As of this writing, Williams has gotten “on the horn” with JJ Abrams and composed a lengthy letter to Disney chief, Bob Iger. We’re told it’s some of the legendary conductor’s darkest work yet.
Stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for more on this and other semi-related and unrelated news from the Star Wars universe.
