Joseph Fiennes Cast as Young Lando in Han Solo Spinoff!

Casting young Han Solo may be taking forever but it appears Disney has found his BFF in less than 12 parsecs. Sources tell us Joseph Alberic Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes better known as Joseph Fiennes will portray Lando Calrissian in the upcoming Star Wars Story film directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller. Of course, not everyone is taking the news lightly. Keep reading for details on the backlash surrounding the latest high-profile film to feature counter-color casting. Somebody done Lando’ed in hot water!

After having seen over 2,500 actors, Disney is still without a young Han Solo for its spinoff film centered on the legendary smuggler. Things couldn’t have been more different when it comes to casting young Lando Calrissian. Sources tell us the role quickly came down to three actors: Michael B. Jordan, Nick Cannon, and the dark horse Joseph Fiennes.

Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller were impressed by the trio, but eventually gave the role to Fiennes on the strength of his performance in the upcoming post-9/11 Michael Jackson road trip comedy co-starring Stockard Channing and Brian Cox.

Said Lord, “Look, if he can play a complicated guy on Earth, he can certainly play one in space.”

Would that it were so simple. But controversy seems to follow Fiennes wherever he goes. Upon being cast as Michael Jackson, the actor faced death threats from outraged fans as well as “more color appropriate” actors up for the part. Both LaToya Jackson and Corey Feldman exchanged words with Fiennes and felt they would have made better Michaels.

According to Fiennes, Michael Jackson transcended race.

“Twas a challenge. Twas a comedy… Twas a fun, lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek road trip of what celebrity of that kind is like. Twas also rather beautiful and poignant. Crazy has no color, am I right?”

Despite the uproar, Fiennes weathered the storm and delivered a multi-layered and very nuanced performance as the King of Pop. So the latest backlash regarding his Lando Calrissian will hardly take the winds out from under his cape.

“Young Lando Calrissian was probably closer to my color” said Fiennes.

Nick Cannon begs to differ. Seeking to make a connection between Lando’s casting, the Oscars, and #BlackLivesMatter, the newly appointed creative director of Radio Shack posted a spoken word poem calling for racial justice.

Damn! Look what they did to Oscar.
Nah, not another trophy rant.
I’m talking Oscar Isaac, Sandra Bland, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Rick McCallum.
Why we trust what the news say anyway?
It’s blasphemous, don’t get distracted by these lottery tickets and holocrons.
It’s just fake gold and projections.
We come from Jedi with no masters.
What happened? We went from golden tombs to closed caskets.
The Black Plague, they want us to catch it.
Just ask Magic, Lando, Malcolm, Martin, Muhammad Ali, Bill Cosby.
It’s tragic.
How the enemy can tear down our community and rewrite the history by highlighting our flaws.
But let he who cast the first stone, who constitutes the new laws.
Nah, I ain’t never seen Empire Strike Back but I serve my own throne.
What I look like begging them to let royalty into they home.
As for me and my house, we’ll serve Phil Lord!
We crying for votes but how many of us is on the board.
Better yet, when’s the last time you showed up and supported the NAACP Awards?
I want what’s mine, not yours.
F@#$ getting my foot in.
I’m building my own gas colony mining operation.
Hollywood mainstream don’t validate me, yo.
Like Hov say, Save the accolades, just the doe.
You in this show for the business, or this business for the show?
Talent and brilliance? Hands down, man we got that s*&%.
That’s why I told Chris, man go ‘head and rock that s*&%.
You got the Force now.
Fight the Power.
Hell yeah, I’m gonna watch that ceremony where they gonna let a black man be Master Jedi for at least two hours.
So don’t waste your voice, don’t waste your Force sensitivity.
Save’em for the thousands killed in Nigeria, Kenya, The Clone Wars, Syria or right here in our urban areas.
Lobot America.
Nah, now no one cares.
What about my mother raising a son while working three jobs for Watto for less than minimum wage?
What about me being placed on death sticks before my system could age?
What about that prison industrial system turning Bothans into new slaves?
Where’s the outrage? Where the complaints at?
Overcoming obstacles, definition of Black.
Hashtag #facts.
But I guess they don’t make no awards for that.
Real talk.
Real Kings don’t need no capes on they back.
#Dontbedistracted

FSW reached out to Cannon to find out how he really felt about losing out on the role of young Lando to Joseph Fiennes.

“N&#% is whiter than white. I can see him playing Lobot maybe but not even cuz Lo got some swag and Fiennes ain’t got no pimp in him. This a joke. Disney killed Lando with this.”

Fiennes disagrees.

“Malarkey! Listen, Lando is from a space planet. He is humanoid yes but who is to say whether his skin darkened over time?  Lad could gave been born a red headed Korean and slowly changed. It’s space fantasy. Not National Geographics. Everyone needs to sod off. I do indeed have Soul!”

It seems the young Han Solo spinoff is off to a wonderful start! Let’s hope Disney can steer clear of any more controversy throughout the film’s production. Did we mention Ellen Page may has been cast as young Han Solo in a gender-bending move sanctioned by Kathleen Kennedy in order to propagate the Star Wars universe with more strong female protagonists? Just kidding. Or are we?

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