Fake NewsRogue One: A Star Wars StorySpin-off Films

Rogue One to Feature Young Luke Skywalker and Historic Product Tie-in

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CGI has come a long way. But it will never be used in a more powerful or convincing manner than what we will see in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Read on after the jump to see what will happen!

Events for Rogue One will take place approximately 5-10 years before A New Hope. With that in mind, that would put Luke Skywalker somewhere around 10-15 years old or so. Now, Mark Hamill has been eating healthy, but there’s no chance he could pass himself off as that young for this film.

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Interestingly enough, actor Robert Mark Boulter, who was cast as Luke but cut for a The Force Awakens scene in Rey’s “Forceback” where he would duel Vader during Empire Strikes Back, was first offered the role. The first day Mr. Boulter was on set, he brought his good buddy Josh Trank with him who was absolutely trashed. Drunk as a skunk. Trank sexually harassed Kathleen, threw powdered jelly donuts all over the set, and peed on a moisture vaporator. While no charges were pressed against Trank, Boulter was fired from the role for bringing Trank on the set.

At this point the casting team looked to Mark Hamill’s offspring to be young Luke, but unfortunately his sons Nathan and Griffin, frankly, don’t really want or look the part. To get around these practical constraints, Lucasfilm has decided to have Mark Hamill act the part himself, with the addition of some anti-aging creme and digital make-up wizardry.

Rogue One will find young Luke on Tattooine, fixing moisture vaporators and getting power converters. His power converters will get stolen by Forrest Whitaker’s bounty hunter character while Luke is working on the vaporator.

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Creating the “de-aging” mask using a 3D printer.

The new technology will be marketed and packaged with a 3D printer to remake yourself in the image of your younger self. Fans can use the custom software to print out a responsive and life-like nanofiber mask that is utterly convincing. See the image at the top of this article to get a look at Hamill as his younger self wearing the 3D printed mask.

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Kathleen Kennedy said;

Star Wars has always been about transporting people into a fantasy world. Now, with the help of the new millennium face-lift printer, fans will be able to relive their glory days, before they became wrinkled overweight pizza slobs.”

Stay tuned for pricing information on this great new product and give us your thoughts over on our new message board.

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Storm Duper

Trained in a variety of galactic codes and languages, Storm Duper fancies himself the Resistance’s best chance to destroy the First Order’s vile hold on leaks and news regarding the new franchise of films. In self-imposed exile from his home on Jakku, Storm Duper has taken to going under cover on reconnaissance missions and reporting all the latest true fake news on the Faking Star Wars Radio podcast. Follow him on Twitter, @StormDuper.

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