Fake NewsSequel TrilogyThe Last Jedi

Star Wars: Episode VIII to Include Native American Jedi

502a0XYx

Clark County, NV — The Las Vegas Tribe of Paiute Indians of the Las Vegas Indian Colony has successfully lobbied for the inclusion of a Paiute character in Episode VIII in exchange for the rights to film on their sacred native burial grounds.

For years the Paiute Indians have been trying to crossover into mainstream media via lucrative formats including podcasts, online gambling web sites, and YouTube React videos with little to no success. But their petitioning outside various Star Wars events in the area seems to have finally hit pay dirt. According to Chris Spottedeagle, Vice-Chairperson of the Paiute Tribal Council:

“The chants and dances of my people have stopped traffic outside Amazing Las Vegas Comic Com for years. Our peaceful protests would oftentimes bring home Best in Show at the powwow for costume and pageantry. As our legacy took flight via social media, it was not long before Chief Rian Johnson of the Star Wars clan reached out directly.”

Upon hearing of the Paiutes plight, Johnson met with the Tribal Council and reached an accord: Episode VIII will feature a Native American Jedi in the form of one of Luke’s most gifted students at his Jedi Academy. “Fights with Sabers” is said to be based on several legendary Paiute warriors of yore, and will sport the iconic headdress his tribe is known for. A young Paiute will portray the Jedi with the help of practical effects limited to makeup, and an assortment of piercings and bangles.

In exchange for a Paiute in the film, the Tribal Council has given Johnson and his crew permission to film on their 31-acre reservation, which includes ancient burial grounds.

“It’s a pretty fair trade if you ask me. We get a genuinely creepy plot of land for the movie, and they get to join the Jedi tribe in style. And who knows, “Fights with Sabers” could wind up on the Jedi Council one day and being this film’s TR-8R.”

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for the latest made up news from a made up galaxy far, far away. We’re also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

-William “Willybobo” Bobo

 

Liked it? Take a second to support Faking Star Wars on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Willybobo

Hailing from the fictional planet of Yarvin IV, which is populated by bumblebee people, is Willybobo. As the Editor-in-chief of FSW, he strives to make the Star Wars fan community a better place for nerds and geeks everywhere. Willybobo was a very active member of the Cantina Star Wars fan forum so you may recognize him from there. He lives with an urn carrying the ashes of his former master, and spends all day asking the mighty Sheev for advice.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial