A.C.L.U. Seeks Investigation Over Ridley Audition Tape
NEW YORK CITY — In response to a physically grueling audition tape for the film Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the American Civil Liberties Union has asked state and federal agencies to investigate Disney’s casting process.
The video in question features newcomer Daisy Ridley reciting lines as the character Rey, while a strange man grips her head tightly. Ridley soon begins to cry as the physical pressure overwhelms her, but the villainous man is unrelenting. Rather than release his grip, the lunatic is seen engaging his wrist band, which shoots a jolt of electricity into Ridley’s forehead, causing her to scream in pain, at which point the video abruptly ends.
While the practical tears and genuine terror on Ridley’s face may have ultimately landed her the hotly contested role, the audition has landed Disney in equally hot water.
“Disney doesn’t get a free pass when it comes to physically abusive auditions,” a representative from the civil rights organization said.
The A.C.L.U. has been highly suspect of Disney’s casting process ever since 73-year old Harrison Ford broke his leg during a 2014 audition that required him to recite lines, while running and jumping into various rooms as production assistants randomly opened and closed the doors.
One actor who spoke to FakingStarWars anonymously had this to say:
“They broke me, man. I can’t even read for bit parts anymore without expecting a few lashes. Worst of all, I still don’t understand how Chinese water torture made me a better member of Kanjiklub. I didn’t even have a line.”
The investigation may slow down Disney Chief Bob Iger’s aggressive timeline for upcoming Star Wars films. Insiders claim Iger and Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy are not very pleased with director J.J. Abrams’ unorthodox casting process.
“The guy’s hellbent on making everything more real, more scary, and more painful than the prequels. I swear, as much as people hate the old casting couch… this is worse, because you don’t even know if you’re going to make it out alive, no matter how cute or double jointed you are,” said a source too scared to go on record.
In addition to Ridley’s damning audition tape, the A.C.L.U. claims to be sitting on a wealth of evidence proving Disney is engaged in dangerous and illegal audition practices. FSW has heard the organization is urging officials to subpoena Nina Gold, the casting director on The Force Awakens. Gold, whose torturous ways helped assemble a battleworn cast for HBO’s Game of Thrones, has quickly become Abrams’ Grand Inquistor for all Star Wars-related live action TV and film projects.
It remains to be seen whether Disney launches a wide-scale self-policing effort to avoid litigation and the maelstrom of negative publicity that would follow a legal battle. As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for the latest made up news from a made up galaxy far, far away. We’re also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
