Fake NewsIndiana JonesNon-Star Wars

Shia LaBeouf Turns Down Request to Join Indy 5 Cast

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BUENA VISTA, CA — After the big announcement that Disney will be continuing the adventures of archaeologist, Indiana Jones, fan speculation began sweeping the internet. One big discussion among Indy purists is whether Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will be canon to Jones’ story or not.

After speaking with Lucasfilm’s Hablo Pidalgo, who is the head honcho in regards to canon in not only Star Wars, but Indiana Jones, Willow, Captain EO and American Graffiti, explained that the fourth Indiana Jones film is indeed canon along with the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles TV series. Curious about this information, FakingStarWars reached out to Disney to comment on if actor Shia LaBeouf will be returning to the franchise as Indy’s bastard son, Henry “Mutt Williams” Jones III, as the actor has been a bit irate off screen in his personal life.

Disney representative Marty Matthews had the following to say;

“Kathleen [Kennedy] actually did reach out to Shia to reprise the role just a day or so after the official announcement of the fifth film. Shia got back to us maybe an hour later and declined the offer claiming he didn’t see where the character could go or have much to do. We do have a short list of actors who could replace him should Steven [Spielberg] and Daivd [Koepp] decide to include Mutt in the story. Aside from that Harrison [Ford] still thinks Shia is an idiot and may want Adam Driver to take Shia’s place but Steven doesn’t want the adventures of “Kyle Ben” and Han Solo.”

Marty was kind enough to forward us their list of actors to replace Shia and some of them surprised us while others made us shake our heads. Take a look.

  • Dane DeHaan
  • Ian Hecox
  • Andrew Garfield
  • Robert Pattinson
  • Justin Bieber
  • Michael B. Jordan
  • Emma Stone
  • Michael Cera
  • Bo Burnham
  • Zac Efron

The ones that confuse us the most are Emma Stone and Michael B. Jordan. So Mutt will either get a sex change or pull a Michael Jackson… but backwards? Also noteworthy are the amount of comedians on the list; Ian Hecox (half of internet comedic duo Smosh), Michael Cera (Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Arrested Development), and Bo Burnham (stand up comedian). The inclusion of pop singer Justin Bieber, who’s acting credits involve him getting gunned down, also raises some eyebrows.

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What do you think of this list? Was Marty trolling us? We think so! Join our message board and follow us on our multiple social media accounts including: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and even Miitomo!

-Voxx

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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