RUMOR: Time Travel Will Feature Heavily in Star Wars: Episode VIII
AGLOE, NY — A “reliable” source has come forward to FakingStarWars to share an important plot device that will forever change the Star Wars universe, and yes it’s bigger than the EU canon reboot. Our source, who calls himself “Doc McFly,” has supposedly seen the Episode VIII and apparently Rian Johnson is ripping himself off by taking cues from his hit film Looper.
Doc McFly tells us that somewhere in the middle of the film there will be a time travel sequence and a brief cameo by Bruce Willis playing a future version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s charcter as he did in Looper. When we tried to push McFly for more information, he quickly and quietly said his mother was coming and he had to go, hanging up on one of Jacen’s cousins who was manning the landline in our Agloe office at the time.
It’s not breaking news that Gordon-Levitt may be appearing in Episode VIII as he is to Rian Johnson as Simon Pegg is to J.J. Abrams but Bruce Willis and the “time travel” trope are. Could McFly have mistaken it for a Forceback sequence as it does invoke some time travel but not physically? And who he mistook Bruce Willis for could be Benicio Del Toro as we have reports that his Lord Vikram character is a skin-head like the Die Hard actor.
Of course, none of this is been confirmed by Rian Johnson nor the Walt Disney Corporation. We will forward this information onto our Rumor Debunking department in our Kalamazoo office and run it through the “Fake-O-Meter” to see if it’s legit or FAKE. As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for the latest made up news from a made up galaxy far, far away. We’re also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, YouTube, and even Miitomo!
-Monkey Mike Skellig
