Disney Cancels Infinity, Salvages Plastic for Star Wars Land Rides
Burbank, CA — In a surprising announcement, The Walt Disney Company has cancelled their Disney Infinity toys-to-life line and will be exiting the videogame console publishing business effective immediately. The news shocked fans around the world that had no clue the videogames and associated toys had already lost the company $147 million. In fact, just hours before the sudden announcement Disney Infinity’s official twitter account teased up a future Star Wars Play Set.
@scuppy114 We will see a new Star Wars™ Play Set this year! That generally means more Figures! We'll have to wait and see who makes the cut!
— Disney Infinity (@DisneyInfinity) May 10, 2016
Sadly the alluded to new play sets (likely based on The Force Awakens and Rogue One) will never see light of day as figurines from Alice Through The Looking Glass and Finding Dory are set to be Disney Infinity’s swan song. However, there does appear to be a silver lining for Star Wars fans.
Sources have confirmed Disney plans on giving all-new life to millions of unsold Infinity toys and play sets. In a revolutionary move, the company is set to salvage all of the plastic and repurpose the material into one or more of the rides at the Star Wars-themed lands coming to Disneyland Resort and Walt Disney World Resort.
According to a senior level member of Disney’s Marketing Team:
“We took a beating for locking DLC behind millions of plastic toys, but I think this will silence the tree huggers. And y’know, there’s something poetic about the toys being reborn as a real-life attraction. Truly toys-to-life-to-death-to-life. And that’s a territory Disney can own for years to come. TTLTDTL is the new TTL.”
Disney Infinity’s final releases hit stores in May and June. Analysts do not expect high demand for the products, since retailers have already begun slashing prices in lieu of the series’ cancellation. For the foreseeable future, Skylanders, Lego Dimensions, and Nintendo’s amiibo will continue to compete in the TTL space despite indications that the category is losing steam for everyone but the Kyoto-based videogame giant.
For updates on this and all other made up news from a made up galaxy far, far away, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net. Look for us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and even Miitomo!
–William “Willybobo” Bobo
