C-3PO’s Red Arm Kills Marvels Rogue One Series
NEW YORK, NY — C-3PO’s red arm has blood on it. Citing the failure of the protocol droid’s one-shot comic book, Marvel has canceled the three-issue Rogue One comic series. Sources claim the project was doomed from the start as Anthony Daniels was kept on as Creative Consultant despite not appearing in the Rogue One film.
“He’s a diva. Guy made one comic and suddenly he’s Stan Lee.”
Among Daniels’ more controversial moves involved the decision to include the red arm he sported in The Force Awakens.
“The moron wanted to bridge his two comics. Why the hell would our new hero droid have a red arm in the comic when he doesn’t have one in the film?”
Even more problematic was Daniels’ decision to cater to the Asian demographic, specifically Jiang Wen and Donnie Yen’s fanbases. The actor-consultant insisted on having an Asian fusion creative team, pairing Marvel’s western talents with some of manga’s hottest writers and illustrators.
“Half the comic read left to right, top to bottom… and then the rest was the exact opposite. The character names even changed midway through.”
As if Daniels’ pandering to Asia didn’t create enough problems for the creative teams, it also alienated one of the stars of the film.
“You can’t have Forest Whitaker be legit black for half the comic then become high yellow for the rest. Dude’s eye didn’t even look the same.”
The final straw for the limited series was the cover fiasco. Apparently Daniels’ wanted to invest in a new type of red chromium embedded with QR codes. Worse he wanted Marvel to include a polybagged origami Death Star. Needless to say, it blew up in his face — Daniels will no longer be involved in any Marvel comic books moving forward, even if they involve Threepio or alternative lifestyles.
There is a silver lining for comic collectors however as we hear a small test run of Rogue One #1 actually went to press. Needless to say, it has quickly become a hot commodity throughout Hong Kong and various Chinatowns in the United States.
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— William “Willybobo” Bobo
