Josh Trank Discovers Dead Star Wars Projects Using Pokemon GO
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — When director Josh Trank first saw a wild Bulbasaur appear in his basement, he thought nothing of it. After all, Trank had just installed Pokemon GO, the latest augmented reality app-session sweeping the nation. Little did he know the virtual creature would lead him straight to a long forgotten treasure trove of shelved Star Wars ideas.
Upon seeing the makeshift tombstone inscribed with R.I.P., Trank immediately remembered what was buried in the shallow grave. So he began to dig and dig… but not before successfully flicking a Pokeball at Bulbasaur, of course.
After a half hour of intense labor, Trank excavated several dead projects from the basement’s foundation, including his Boba Fett spinoff film, the lyrics and book for a Lobot musical, concept art for a proposed casino strip club at Star Wars Land, and the biggest find of them all: Trank’s reworking of the Star Wars prequel films.
The Fantastic Four director was beside himself. Here lay a new hope for his future as a filmmaker. Enough time had passed since his dismissal from the Boba Fett project for him to pitch his other ideas. Furthermore, Disney’s problems with the Rogue One production have many executives ready to give Trank a second chance.
We’re told the re-invigorated director managed to get a meeting at Disney this week. Not only does this represent a potential renaissance for Trank’s career, but “there’s a Pokestop right next to Disney bro” according to the filmmaker.
Trank joins a quickly growing population of Pokemon GO users who have made morbid discoveries via the app. Be safe out there, Pokemaniacs.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
