Olympics Rogue One Trailer Stolen By Favela Pirates
COPACABANA BEACH, BRAZIL — Piracy is alive and well in Brazil, as Disney Lucasfilm learned late last night in one of the most brazen crimes committed yet during the Rio 2016 Olympics. According to sources, a group of 10-12 couch-surfing favela gangmembers boarded Disney’s flagship luxury yacht and stole the eagerly awaited new trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.
Beachgoers on the popular Copacabana waterfront report seeing armed individuals aboard Barcaloungers, La-Z-Boys and one massive Sofabed surround the Mouse House Boat. It’s unclear whether anyone was hurt during the trailer jacking, which quickly became a tourist attraction for the crowds along the beach.
In lieu of these developments, FSW believes Disney will deploy Plan B for their big trailer reveal. Rather than the 90-second trailer promised, the House of Mouse will re-mix footage from the film’s oft-derided sizzle reel (as seen during Star Wars Celebration in London) with a few shots from the trailer-like object shown only to Celebration attendees.
Not all hope is lost for the stolen trailer however. We’re heard Disney has reached out to Captain Phillips and Captain Jack Black along with the U.S. Swim team for a possible night time sting operation in a bid to steal back its intellectual property. The favela pirate gang may be facing Darth Phelps very, very soon.
For updates on this and all other fake Star Wars stories, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net and look for us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and your mom’s house.
— William “Willybobo” Bobo
