Area Man Confused by Lack of Bothans in Rogue One
ORLANDO, FLORIDA — Self-proclaimed “Star Wars maniac” Jim McKinnon is experiencing a great disturbance in the Force. The 38-year old part-time shoe salesman believes the upcoming Star Wars spinoff Rogue One is filled with lies.
“Disney thinks we’re idiots. How do you make a movie about stolen Death Star plans and never once mention or show a Bothan?! This puts the con in retcon.”
According to the father of 6, Star Wars: The Force Awakens was “so-so,” but rather than improve upon that film, Rogue One is a step backwards for the biggest media property on the planet.
“It’s clearly stated in canon films that many Botanists died in order to retrieve the Death Star plans, but in the trailers, all I see is G.I. Jane and a few nobody commandos, who I really don’t think are the Botanists.”
Despite McKinnon’s reservations about the first Star Wars Story film, he still plans to view the movie a minimum of 12 times by himself and once or twice with the family.
“Felicity’s a babe. No lies detected there. Sorry Bothanists.”
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-William “Willybobo” Bobo
