Ewoks & Gungans Banned from Hosnian Memorial
NEW HOSNIAN PRIME — It was meant to be an intergalactic outpouring of love for billions of lost souls, but the planned Hosnian Memorial has turned into an ugly reminder of what continues to divide the universe. Gungans from Naboo along with the entire Ewok nation from the Forest Moon of Endor have been uninvited from the 3-day ceremony.
“Not one of Starkiller Base’s victims were Gungan or Ewok, and I would venture to guess none of those who perished likely had any love for those bumbling idiots and savages,” said a third cousin of the late Chancellor Lanever. Organizers of the event claim the real reason for a ban on Ewok and Gungan attendees has more to do with noise control rather than species bias. Of particular ire is their fondness for the French horn and bongos.
“We cannot have horns blowing during the opera space bubble show. Not on my watch, and if the Gungan and Ewok nations cannot comply, well, sorry, the show must go on bongo-free,” said event orchestrator Bio Sibble. For their part, the Ewoks and Gungans have managed to rally select systems onto their side. As of this writing, a handful of key delegates of the New Republic have cancelled their appearances in support of the Gungans and Ewoks.
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