Lindsay Lohan Reveals Coruscanti Accent for Possible Star Wars Role
ATHENS, GREECE — Mean Girls star Lindsay Lohan is trying to make something even more far-fetched than the word fetch happen. The former hard partying starlet spoke with FSW’s Grecian office recently and revealed a most regal Coruscanti accent. Mind you prior to this Lohan’s range of speech was limited to Valley Girl, Duck Face and Incoherent Slur. So it came as a huge shock to us when the accent reserved for the highest class of Star Wars citizenry — and Madonna — was somehow escaping Lilo’s lips.
Fans have already begun to speculate on whether or not Lohan will be appearing in Star Wars: Episode IX, the young Han Solo spinoff film or a voiceover role in the Rebels animated series. Some of the more outlandish theories involve Lilo playing Kylo’s forgotten twin sister, Sheev Palpatine’s long lost daughter, Obi-Wan’s side piece during his sting on Tatooine or even Rey’s mother aka Luke Skywalker’s wife Mara Jade.
Regardless of whom Lohan winds up playing in the Star Wars universe, the role will likely help the former child star get her acting career back on track. The last decade has not been kind to Lohan, but perhaps the tides are turning.
Another exclusive tidbit mined by our Grecian office: Lilo’s “momager” Dina Lohan is on-board to do any stuntwork and/or body doubling for her daughter in whatever Star Wars project she’s involved with for Disney.
“Dina’s a huge sci-fi fan and can pass for a slightly younger, more flexible Linds, so they’re a package deal,” said a spokesperson for the Lohan camp.
We reached out to Disney but were diverted to a phone menu. In any case, should this casting come to pass, Lilo will add even more star power to an already luminous nu-Star Wars galaxy.
Whom would you like to see the Lohans play? Tell us in the comments section, and, as always, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net for the latest and fakest stories from a galaxy far, far away.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
