Star Wars: Episode VIII and Darth Vader’s Codpiece!
Spoiler alert! Please do not ruin the enjoyment of Star Wars: Episode VIII by sharing the following information carelessly on social media.
FSW spy Wason Jard is back and he’s packing an XXL scoop. According to Jard, Kylo Ren’s unhealthy obsession with Darth Vader will reach super awkward levels in Rian Johnson’s upcoming entry in the saga films.
We previously saw Kylo talking to the melted remains of grandpappy Vader’s helmet — creepy but not exactly full-blown Norman Bates psycho just yet. Well Episode VIII will certainly live up to its “weird” billing per Lawrence Kasdan, as we will see Kylo wearing Darth Vader’s fully restored codpiece.
Here’s the uber-awkward part: the leader of the Knights of Ren wears the Dark Side-imbued jock strap WITHOUT PANTS. That’s right. No leggings, no jorts, nada. Just his cape hoody thing and the codpiece. For Kylo’s sake, we’re hoping there isn’t a Hoth-not-Hoth planet in Episode VIII.
Our intrepid spy Wason Jard could not confirm or deny whether Vader’s crotch piece talks to Kylo at all. But we can only imagine how stark raving mad such a scene would be.
“Show me again… The power of the darkness… And I’ll let nothing stand in our way… Show me… grandfather… And I will finish what you started.”
We suppose that would explain the lack of pants. Heyoooooooo!
As always stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for made up scoops that make up for a lack of Star Wars scoops. You’re welcome!
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
