Harrison Ford Saves 116 People from Himself
THE OC, CALIFORNIA — In an act of epic heroism, actor Harrison Ford saved 110 people from a potentially deadly aviation accident triggered by some good old fashioned hot dogging.
According to reports, Ford was piloting a single engine Husky plane performing his usual loop de loops in the sky without a hitch until he decided to try something uheard of.
Eyewitnesses report Ford’s Husky attempted what is known as a “blind man’s folly” death drop — a maneuver that has only been successfully performed once before in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and even then heavily aided by extensive CG, the force and modeling work.
Despite being instructed to land on runway 20-L at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, Ford proceeded to stall his plane’s engines and fall 2,000 feet in under 2 parsecs, scaring the “living bejeezus” out of all 110 passengers aboard American Airlines flight 1546, which was on the runway directly beneath the 74-year old actor-turned-pilot.
Ford was then captured on air traffic control recordings saying, “What the hell am I doing? How did that airliner get underneath me? Those people need to live?”
Upon being told he was attempting to land on a taxiway instead of a runway, Ford leapt into action. We’re told he turned his Miracle Ear back on, fired up the engines and flew to a proper runway, effectively saving 116 people from a fiery death.
Ford’s high-flying antics weren’t quite done for the day though. Before landing, the Hollywood legend shot up into the air and used his Husky to sky-write the words “Situation normal” for emergency ground crews and police, who had gathered on the grounds to check on Ford’s mental health and/or arrest him.
This is not the first — though it may be the last — time Ford has had aviation troubles. Back in March of 2015, he made an emergency landing in a World War II-era airplane after attempting a “triple lindy.”
“He may have forgotten that Harrison is not actually a character,” added a source close to Ford’s wife.
As of this writing, the Federal Aviation Administration was looking into whether or not Ford violated safety rules. We’re just glad no one was seriously hurt.
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-William “Willybobo” Bobo
