Harrison Ford Returning for Episode IX to Kill Force Ghost Han Solo
Despite his best efforts to be done with the Star Wars franchise, Harrison Ford is being pulled in once again by fate’s inescapable tractor beam. It seems the 74-year old actor, who is dead set on making sure all of his characters die on-screen, forgot about a certain loophole in Star Wars lore.
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Han Solo may have died at the hands of Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens, but Disney Lucasfilm could potentially still bring the smuggler back as a Force ghost.
“How would that work, idiots?”
Solo was not particularly Force sensitive per today’s canon, but our spies tell us the upcoming young Han Solo solo movie will now allude to the smuggler and ace pilot having a higher-than-normal midi-chlorian count. Put simply, one does not make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs on ace piloting skills alone.
Originally, there were no plans to bring Ford back to reprise his role in Episode IX outside of a few lines of dialogue. Of course, even the best laid plans went out the window the moment Carrie Fisher unexpectedly passed away. Fisher was set up to mentor the younger Force sensitives in the third film of Disney’s sequel trilogy. Her premature passing forced the filmmakers to seek out a way to bring Ford back into the fold. An all-star team of Star Wars players, including Bob Iger, Kathleen Kennedy, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson and Lawrence “Larry Larr” Kasdan, quickly re-wrote the script for Episode IX to feature more of Force ghost Han Solo than Force ghost Leia.
The creators and executives then pitched the revised story to Ford in person… and we’re told the meeting went surprisingly well.
“He was visibly upset, but not with the writers or George Lucas or even the fans this time. Just with himself. It was a big miss on his part” said an anonymous source close to the negotiations.
Apparently, Ford really had no choice. The team planned on moving forward with a ghastly CG version of Han Solo if the actor refused to appear in Episode IX. Our spies report John Knoll of ILM was ordered to throw together a roughshod version of “creepy-as-hell uncanny valley” CG Solo to show Ford exactly what would become of his on-screen legacy if he refused to appear in the film.
“They knew how to play him just right. I kinda felt bad for him, especially because a few days after signing on, he almost killed 116 people with his plane. Clearly Harrison was still mad at himself for not having seen the Force ghost loophole. Leave no self behind, as mama used to say,” said another Disney spy.
There is a silver lining for Ford though. We’re told Disney gave him full creative control over how his Force ghost dies in Episode IX. Since Ford’s working with Kasdan to get his final Star Wars death just right, we anticipate something with even more finality than a lightsaber-in-the-chest swan dive.
As always, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net for the latest on this and all other made up stories from a made up galaxy far, far away. Oh, and subscribe to our YouTube channel before Disney’s lawyers take it down.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
