Oscar Isaac Promises Last Jedi Spoilers if New Film Breaks Even
Hollywood, CA — The Promise may have been slaughtered at the box office on its first weekend, but that’s not stopping Oscar Isaac from making his own promise to moviegoers should the film miraculously earn back its estimated $100 mm budget. According to our insider, Isaac is willing to spoil parts of Star Wars: The Last Jedi in exchange for a much-needed boost at the box office for The Promise.
Given its paltry $4.1 mm debut, the leading man’s promise of Star Wars spoilers would need to drum up nearly $95 mm for the Armenian genocide drama to break even — no small task. Of course, Rian Johnson’s Episode VIII is likely to mirror the huge twist from The Empire Strikes Back, which could inspire droves of fans to watch The Promise.
“From Oscar’s point of view, there will always be another Star Wars movie. But there may never be another historical drama about the massacre of Armenians under the Ottoman Empire. So it’s a fair trade. And spoiler culture would appreciate the opportunity,” said our insider in-between bites of a Cuban sandwich.
The Promise, which co-stars Christian Bale, stands to lose Survival Picture upwards of $90 mm at the box office unless it finds a big audience overseas. With any luck, however, Isaac’s proposition may help the film earn another $20-30 mm domestically.
As the first period film to shine a light on the massacre of 1.5 million Armenians in the waning days of the Ottoman Empire, The Promise has been plagued by a malicious Rotten Tomatoes campaign aimed at keeping audiences away. Experts believe massacre deniers are behind the overabundance of rotten scores.
“People can deny the events of the film all they like, but there’s no denying the power of a Star Wars spoiler,” said our source, who believes potential Last Jedi spoilers will unite Turks, Greeks and Armenian audiences alike.
There’s yet one more avenue of hope for The Promise: Isaac has received the full support of old school Star Wars royalty. None other than Billy Dee Williams, the original Lando Calrissian, has also made a promise if The Promise breaks even.
“Lando is Armenian – Calrissian – so this film is especially important for me. If Star Wars fans help it succeed, I’ll gladly reveal Rebels Season 4 spoilers,” said the actor via landline.
It’s too early to tell whether or not the promise of Star Wars spoilers will help The Promise sell additional tickets, but it has already garnered at least 12 new “fresh” reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, all of which use May the Force Be With You as a sign off. Hopefully a sign of good things to come for the film.
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-William “Willybobo” Bobo
