Practical Effects Labor Fiasco Leaves Film Crew In The Lurch!
Back when The Force Awakens started production, J.J. Abrams made it clear that the film would take a retro approach to special effects. Hundreds of people were brought in to create thousands of practical effects shots for the film. Between the props, sets, pyrotechnics, and make-up effects, it has been estimated that The Force Awakens gave these people gainful employment for at least two-and-a-half years. Once production had been completed, they began working on Rogue One followed immediately by The Last Jedi, Solo, and now Episode IX.
On the day second unit photography for Episode IX began, under the direction of Victoria Mahoney, a practical effects crew member by the name of Toni Toretto was tasked with constructing a new model of droid for the film. “Coincidentally” this was also the final day of production for Solo: A Star Wars Story.
“This is getting out of hand!” Toretto said to an FSW correspondent. “We haven’t gotten a day off since December 12th, 2015 and we’ve only been paid in random coupons and chewing gum.”
While this may sound like an awful circumstance for this crew, it turns out they agreed to these terms AND signed a binding contract.
“Yeah we signed a contract with Lucasfilm and agreed to the terms, but we honestly thought it was all a big joke. We waited for Ashton [Kutcher] to jump out and tell us we had been PUNK’D! The crew and I were all just so excited to work on a Star Wars film — not sign our lives away to the white slavers!”
When the crew arrived to begin working on the new film, several collapsed from exhaustion and Toretto was one of them.
“I’m having my lawyer, Barry Zuckerkorn, looking over our contracts to see if there’s any way to get us out of this deal because it’s getting worse all the time. Until then, the practical effects crew who can still stand are going on strike because Barry discovered we had joined a union as well. And that’s where our actual paychecks are going — to cover our union dues!”
We reached out to J.J. Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy, Victoria Mahoney, and even Ava DuVernay for a comment regarding the overworked practical effects crew but they declined to respond and told us to to just bring them their ice waters. We hope Toni and the rest of the crew get well soon and the issue is quickly resolved so Episode IX isn’t delayed.
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-Storm Duper and Link Voximilian
