Naked Wookiee Arrested at Mos Eisley Gym
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — A male Wookiee was arrested after he allegedly took off his clothes at the front desk of a Planet Fitness gym and exercised naked Tuesday, according to local reports. According to a Shyriiwook translator, the Wookiee thought the gym was a “judgement free zone,” FSW Mos Eisley reports.
Erykkstaggno, a 334-year old Kashyyk native, was arrested without incident and charged with indecent exposure, lewdness and disorderly conduct after Imperial Security responded to the crowded gym in uptown, Tatooine.
“When we arrived, we found him there, completely nude: in the downward dog yoga position,” Stormtrooper Captain BM-2686 told the FSW reporters. “The Wookiee walked into the gym, took off his bandoliers at the door, and proceeded to walk back and forth a couple of times before settling in on the yoga mats.”
Witnesses who saw Erykkstaggno’s naked exercises reported feeling “disgusted,” “sick” and “unsafe,” BM-2686 told FSW reporters.
Witness Jimmy P. Anderson, 23-year old male Jawa, told us that seeing the nude Wookiee was “downright unsettling” and gave him a feeling of “inadequacy” as his girlfriend kept staring at the Wookiee’s “red rocket” during their cross-fit class.
“The only statement that he gave to our translators was that he thought it was a ‘judgment free zone’ – apparently referencing the chain’s slogan,” BM-2686 said.
Erykkstaggno was released on 1,000 credit bail and is due in Imperial court on Coruscant on September 21.
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