Episode IX Sweeps New Oscar Categories For 2019
It may be more than a year away from release, but Episode IX is already racking up the awards. The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced that the J.J. Abrams helmed sequel will sweep all seven of its controversial new Oscar categories, including Outstanding Popular Film. The news has been met with a mix of relief and outrage on social media.
“Seriously, giving Episode IX the ‘best pop movie’ category before it’s even out is the worst idea the Academy has had since they asked me to sing with Snow White,” tweeted actor Rob Lowe, whose duet with the first Disney princess during the 1989 Oscars set the low bar for the annual ceremony. Other critics included Last Jedi director Rian Johnson, former Guardians Of The Galaxy filmmaker James Gunn and Jumanji 3 star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
“We were robbed in the Best Diversity Kiss category. There’s no way whatever J.J. shoots can top Kevin Hart making out with Karen Gillan. I smell a rat,” said Johnson.
On the flip side, a few international stars applauded the new Oscar categories. “Maybe if they’d had the Best WTF Moment category before, we’d have won a couple of them,” Mark Wahlberg told Variety. “We’ve had entire films that were two hours of WTF that we think certainly warranted that kind of notoriety.” Some of Wahlberg’s recent films include Ted, Lone Survivor and Transformers: Age of Extinction.
Among Episode IX’s 2019 Oscar haul are statues for the following categories:
- Outstanding Popular Film
- Best Frightened Performance
- Best Emo Villain
- Best Diversity Kiss
- Best On-Screen Team
- Best WTF Moment
- Best Post Credits Scene In A Disney Film
When asked how anyone could possibly vote for a film that’s still in production, a high-ranking member of the Academy had this to say, “We had no choice. Disney demanded awards for Star Wars now.”
With its seven Oscars, Episode IX becomes the top Academy Award-winning Star Wars film, edging out A New Hope which won six statues in 1977. Congratulations, J.J. Abrams!
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