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Florida Man Afraid to Admit He Likes Resistance

Florida Man Afraid to Admit He Likes Resistance

ORANGE, FLORIDA — While many fans are quite happy with Disney’s latest Star Wars animated offering, including our own Nick Starstriker, there is a subset of people who regularly dump on Star Wars Resistance, because it’s seemingly cool to do so. Florida native Jeremy Swanson is among those who secretly enjoyed the cartoon, despite clicking “dislike” on the trailer earlier this year and leaving a vile comment we dare not recreate in this safe space.


The 34-year-old mailman is an avid Star Wars hater on Twitter and preaches to fellow “fan-tagonists” on his YouTube channel. Swanson publishes videos of himself breaking The Last Jedi Blu-rays, calling for Kathleen Kennedy’s dismissal, and burning Porg toys. This earns him a hefty 100k views per video from people who want to see his crazy antics!

This is what Swanson had to say to FSW reporters:

“I hated The Last Jedi! Rian [Johnson] bastardized Luke Skywalker’s character! He killed the very important Rebel general Ackbar off unceremoniously! Finally, Round-Head made our new lead males (Finn and Poe) look like chumps by the females (Rose and Holdo). We won by making SOYLO a box office failure and making the Resistance trailer the most disliked video in YouTube history.


But when the show made it’s debut… I actually liked it. I love NASCAR, F-Zero GX is THE BEST GameCube game, and the podracing scene from The Phantom Menace was my favorite as a kid. So the racing aspect of the series definitely hooked me and I will continue watching each week. But please don’t tell my followers, I need the ad revenue from those Disney haters.”

Swanson did a complete 180 after actually watching the series, but will continue to act like he hated it for the clicks. How do you feel about Jeremy’s motives? Should he tell his followers the truth or keep on faking? Let us know in the comments below and click this ad to help fund our death stick addiction!

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider joining our Discord to talk Star Wars and other nonsense as well as supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.

–Lick Voximilian

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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