Fake NewsThe Rise of Skywalker

Guy Who Taped Kylo Ren’s Helmet Together Pretty Sure It Will Stick

Guy Who Taped Kylo Ren’s Helmet Back Together Pretty Sure It Will StickPINEWOOD STUDIOS — There was high drama this morning on the set of Episode IX as key grip Theo Bridges took to the task of piecing together Kylo Ren’s obliterated helmet. Cast and crew gathered around the 23-year old as he employed expert broom boy skills to collect nearly 12 billion shards of helmet. “Sometimes you’re fortunate enough to work with someone at the height of their powers, and it’s truly an honor just to be in their presence. But most of the time, you’re just glad someone like Theo is on set to pick up the pieces,” said director J.J. Abrams.


With an intricate collection of helmet pieces laid out upon his work bench, 32-year old Bridges leaned on his jigsaw puzzle experience to piece things together. After five minutes and a firm reminder the helmet was needed within the hour, however, the key grip ditched his initial plan and opted for a more guerrilla technique. Bridges produced three rolls of gaff tape, said a prayer, then proceeded to take handfuls of shards and quickly tape them onto the largest piece of black latex helmet on the table. Within minutes, he had a re-constructed headpiece worthy of the work-in-progress that is Kylo Ren.

Despite having its visor and mouthpiece areas completely covered, the reborn helmet manages to give Kylo Ren a scarier look reminiscent of Sam Raimi’s Darkman. “I’m pretty sure it will stick, too,” said Bridges after local firefighters used the jaws of life to cut his hands free from his creation.

Ironically, the lo-fi helmet drew raves from both Abrams and Adam Driver, both infamously finicky when it came to picking the original helmet. “It’s tragic and so symbolic… and I love how light occasionally slips in through the tape — truly a metaphor for what Ben is going through,” said Driver.

Driver’s brows will need to be penciled in

While everyone on-set loves the new look, the taped together helmet does have one major downside. When Driver attempted to remove the helmet, the gaffe tape ripped both of Driver’s eyebrows off, resulting in a real-life Wilhelm scream. We’re told Abrams hopes to use the sequence since “you can’t fake that kind of blood-curling scream.”


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Willybobo

Hailing from the fictional planet of Yarvin IV, which is populated by bumblebee people, is Willybobo. As the Editor-in-chief of FSW, he strives to make the Star Wars fan community a better place for nerds and geeks everywhere. Willybobo was a very active member of the Cantina Star Wars fan forum so you may recognize him from there. He lives with an urn carrying the ashes of his former master, and spends all day asking the mighty Sheev for advice.

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