Fake NewsGamingSequel TrilogyThe Last Jedi

Pokémon Sword & Shield To Feature Star Wars Tie-In

Pokémon Sword And Shield To Feature Star Wars Tie-In

Do you love Star Wars? Do you love Pokémon? Well, get ready to have your minds blown! Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy has announced the most eagerly anticipated collaboration of all time for fans of both mega-franchises. The upcoming Pokémon Sword and Shield for Nintendo Switch will include creatures from the Star Wars universe!

According to Kennedy, Pokémon Sword is extra-sweet thanks to the inclusion of the green milk-producing Thala-sirens. Of course, no four-breasted creatures would be complete without a Pokémon trainer skilled in the art of milking the beasts. You guessed it! Pokémon Sword will feature Jedi Master Luke Skywalker as a gym leader, on an island very reminiscent of Ahch-To.

As for Pokémon Shield, we’ve got one word for you: PORGS!!! PORGS!!! And more PORGS!!! That’s right — the lovable creatures from Ahch-To will be joining the Pokémon universe along with Shield’s exclusive Pokémon trainer, Jedi Trainee Rey.

Avid fan and player of Pokémon GO, Kennedy managed to keep this Nintendo partnership under wraps for over a year. She was kind enough to chat with FakingStarWars about the big news.

FSW: How did this epic collaboration come to be?

KK: Well, I really like Star Wars and I absolutely love, love, love Pokémon GO. So one day, while catching Rattatas for hours on end, I thought to myself. What is it that could make us more money? What else could we offer fans that they didn’t know they wanted yet? Then I realized it was staring me in the face! We need to be in Pokémon! We have an entire universe of great creatures ready to earn that gotta-catch’em-all money!

FSW: What are you hoping to get out of this partnership with Nintendo?

KK: As I said before, it’s really important to preserve my legacy and go out on top, wealthier than ever. I mean, if the fans enjoy the game, that’s great, too. But let’s be clear: it’s all about the Benjamin’s — ya know what I’m sayin’.

FSW: What do you have to say about this new collaboration to the fans? What can they expect from the game on Nintendo Switch?

KK: I think our fans who identify as female are going to be pumped about the included breast pump attachment for Pokémon Sword. You’ll be able to interact with the Thala-sirens like never before.

FSW: What was it like working with the game developers on this hugely anticipated game?

KK: I really had a great time talking to Mario who is amazing at making games. I believe his brother is named Luigi. For Asians, I never imagined that they would have such common names. I really didn’t understand what they were saying. Still, I think they understood what I wanted, and executed it to perfection.

FSW: Do you have plans to bring Rian Johnson into this project? Any downloadable content for new creatures down the line?

KK: Of course! Rian subverted expectations and helped me destroy one beloved franchise already. Naturally I want him involved to tarnish another beloved franchise. He has such a brilliant mind for making nonsensical creatures and milking as many of the Pokémon as possible.

FSW: Thank you for your time, Ms. Kennedy. Can’t wait to play this most anticipated game of 2019.

KK: [playing Pokemon GO] Hold on! Don’t move, there’s Thala Siren on you. #GottaCatchEmAll.

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on TwitterInstagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.

–Sith Master Cinnamon Flakes

Liked it? Take a second to support Faking Star Wars on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Sith Master Cinnamon Flakes

On a backwater planet lives the last surviving clone of Luke Skywalker's clone Luuke Skywalker. This clone, with no identity other than knowing he looks like the guy who voices the Joker, made his home in an abandoned cereal factory where he eats nothing but expired cinnamon flakes. One night, he signed up for an online class to learn to become a Sith. When he received his degree in dark side dairy sorcery and a minor in creative writing, he applied to write for Faking Star Wars.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial