After Marvel Film Marathon, Man Realizes Star Wars Not So Bad
What should have culminated in excitement for Avengers: Endgame has resulted in an existential crisis for Gerald “King of Fandom” McRooty of Peoria, Illinois. The 32-year old superfan of all things geek was among the devoted fans who shelled out $90 to watch 22 Marvel Studios films back-to-back at his local AMC theater.
The event started on a high note as theater employee’s greeted the diehards with limited-edition amenity kits featuring a blanket and personal hygiene products.
“Super nice touch. Between the blankets and the trailer they parked outside with five shower stalls, I was ready to do whatever it takes like the slogan on the AMC swag says.”
–Gerald “King of Fandom” McRooty
Three films later, however, McRooty says a gnawing feeling began to eat away at him. It didn’t help that a climate of lawlessness had broken out in the theater with fans leaving garbage everywhere and making makeshift beds in the lobbies and restrooms.
According to the part-time warehouse club employee, an inner voice started to question the quality of the superhero films he had dedicated so much of his time and discretionary income to over the last twenty years.
“It took a 4 am shower in the parking lot between Phase Two’s Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World for me to finally realize: these are all the same movies over and over again. And they’re actually not that good.”
McRooty says he spend the next 16 hours marathoning Star Wars in the lobby on his iPad rather than finishing the other phases in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
“I realized what was wrong with the MCU films… beyond telling the same story over and over again. They have no soul. And even the worst of Star Wars has heart and soul. I don’t know why I had forsaken the universe that laid the groundwork for all of modern fandom… in favor of soulless men in tights. But I plan on making things right.”
Instead of watching Avengers: Endgame, McRooty plans to marathon all of the Star Wars films again. His friends and family have been notified, and are supporting him as he transitions back to being a Star Wars fan first, and a geek culture fan second.
As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.
—William “Willybobo” Bobo
