Top 10 Things C-3PO Reveals About Luke Skywalker In Episode IX
According to a recent leak involving The Rise of Skywalker, C-3PO will be instrumental in spreading the legend of Luke Skywalker throughout the galaxy. But what kinds of things will ol’ Goldenrod be sharing? Heroic deeds for sure, as one would expect. However, one of our sources claims C-3PO doesn’t filter anything. At All. So we’re in for some epic oversharing that will make Master Skywalker blush — if Force ghosts are even capable. Without further ado, here are the Top 10 Things C-3PO Reveals About Luke Skywalker In Episode IX.
For those unable to view the 8K image above, here it is in plain text:
Top 10 Things C-3PO Reveals About Luke Skywalker In Episode IX
10. Jake Skywalker is older by 2 minutes
09. Crushed on Lando for over 30 years
08. Secretly performed as “Slave Luke” in the Outer Rim
07. Was really going to Toschii station for death sticks
06. Haunted by liquid dreams of Mon Mothma well into his 50s
05. Killed a youngling “by accident” 6 times
04. Born with four testicles which have yet to fully descend
03. Relocated to Ahch-To for a pair of Thala-siren sisters
02. Fake beard was made of authentic Wookiee fur
01. He always voted for Palpatine
As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.
—William “Willybobo” Bobo
