Ewok Nation Downvotes YouTuber En Masse Over Wicket Bisection
Fourteen seconds is all it took to trigger Ewok Nation over the holiday weekend. The loose collective of Ewok fan clubs from around the world was up in arms over a fan edit of the latest trailer to The Rise Of Skywalker. The video, titled “Rey’s Training Scene Extended,” features the exhilarating scene of Rey training on Endor as seen in the full trailer. However, rather than simply mowing down several trees (already a sore site for some), the laser sword continues on its trajectory and cuts an Ewok in half at the 12 second mark.
“It’s bad enough to slaughter any Ewok for the sake of a limp joke, but why choose a legendary hero who played a key role in bringing down the Empire? Wicket W. Warrick deserves a nobler end than being bisected by a literal who nobody Mary Sue,” said Gerald Skinner, president of Forever Yub Nub, the foremost Ewok fan club in the U.S.
As soon as Skinner saw the “Darkest Rey” clip, he sounded the ceremonial Ewok battle horn to alert the other Ewok fan clubs. Together, they devised a plan to cancel the YouTuber responsible for fictitiously cutting short the life of their beloved fictitious character Wicket.
Jonkari P immediately felt the sting of Ewok Nation as 18 little hairy thumbs down appeared next to his parody video. According to Skinner, the dislikes are just the first salvo in their guerilla war against the content creator.
“We plan on clicking thumbs down on all of his videos from here on out, whether Ewok-related or not. Jonkari P needs to learn to pick on someone his own size… or pay a hefty price.”
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