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Supreme Leader Kylo Ren Outlaws Holiday Festivities

In a move surprising all, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has outlawed all holiday celebrations including but not limited to Christmas, Festivus, Hanukkah, and Life Day. This will be enforced in all territories under First Order rule. But fear not, as it turns out one holiday will be allowed under this new law: Sithmas. That’s right, the holiday founded by Ren himself, which celebrates not only Ren’s grandfather Darth Vader, but all the Sith Lords of yore, has survived the holiday purge.


So feel free to engage in the following festivities: decorating a Sithmas Force tree, baking Sithmas cookies, placing Sheev on the Shelf on your fire place mantle, singing Sithmas carols, and of course exchanging ancient Sith holocrons with loved ones.

The question is, how will Ren enforce this new mandate? Will he be sending Sith Troopers to every home to make sure they participate or maybe that’s what the Sheev on the Shelf is for. Either way, we here at FakingStarWars will be partaking in Sithmas activities and are busy writing our own Sith-y versions of classic Christmas songs.


Will you be celebrating Sithmas? Do you have your own Sithmas sweater? Get yours here; currently on sale!

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on TwitterInstagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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