Hayden Warns Ex, Claims Hader Is The Path To The Dark Side
Climate change may have been on everyone’s mind at the Golden Globes, but for one former Sith lord, the real danger involved new couple Bill Hader and Rachel Bilson. According to Star Wars veteran Hayden Christensen, Hader is not just Mr. Wrong, he’s Mr. Wrong-And-Going-To-Drag-Her-To-The-Dark-Side.
“I think she’s still angry things didn’t work out between us, and I totally get that. But she can’t just fill herself with Hater. We all know how it goes: Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to Hader. Hader leads to suffering. And I don’t want Rachel to suffer.”
Christensen goes on to say that he actually enjoys Hader in HBO’s Barry, and was rooting for him to win during the awards ceremony.
“Honest, I friggin’ love Hader… because if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that love conquers all — even Hader.”
Christensen and Bilson called it quits over 2 years ago. Perhaps not coincidentally, Hader filed for divorce from his ex-wife Maggie Carey in 2017. The comedian and Bilson met on the set of the 2013 film The To-Do List, directed by Carey.
“A Sith might say Hader was on her to-do list,” joked Christensen. On a more serious note, the 38-year old actor hopes his message gets through to his ex before she’s consumed entirely by Hader. “Worst case scenario… I can help redeem her.”
As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.
—William “Willybobo” Bobo