Prince Harry Gives Up Blaster Collection To Please Meghan Markle
Time to hang’em up, Harry! The Duke of Sussex, who’s been a stormtrooper since a very young age, sold his collection of handmade blasters to please the Duchess, Resistance-loving Meghan.
Members of the 501st Legion reportedly bought seven E-11 blaster rifles, five F-11D blaster rifles, three Z6 riot control batons, and a pair of DLT-19 heavy blaster rifles from Prince Harry a few months ago, just before the royal couple stepped down as senior members of the Royal Family.
According to FSW sources, the arms sale was mandated by Markle, who is staunchly vegan, American, and “really, really into The Last Jedi’s anti-arms message.”
Despite Harry pleading that he’s never once hit a target with any of his blasters, terrible marksmanship was simply not enough to appease the Duchess.
“She just doesn’t like blasting things for sport, plain and simple. It scares the animals and reinforces negative Empire and First Order stereotypes,” said 86-year-old primatologist Dr Jane Goodall, a close friend of Megan’s.
In the past, both Harry and brother William have regularly glorified stormtroopers. Since the age of 5-years-old, the pair have always dressed up for Halloween as “stormies.” Over the years, their get-ups have grown more and more elaborate, to the point that the prestigious 501st Legion inducted the princes as honorary members.
Director Rian Johnson even invited Prince Harry and Prince William to cameo in The Last Jedi using their own personal outfits and blasters. Alas, Markle and her camp also managed to put the kibosh on the scene, which ended up on the cutting room floor.
It’s not all bad news for Harry though. While he may have lost the war, he did manage to win one small battle on the homefront.
“Meghan let him keep a replica of Rey’s lightsaber… but he can only use it on silent mode, because it’s no good for the houseplants to hear that hum and whooshing about,” said Goodall.
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