Purple Lightsaber Ruins Gender Reveal Party
SEDGWICK COUNTY, KS — Jaime and Rick Edwards were furious after their gender-reveal party was ruined by a ceremonial lightsaber that left guests with more questions than answers. Instead of a traditional blue blade to announce a boy or a red one for a girl, the laser sword emitted a purple blade that seemed to indicate the Wichita couple were expecting a gender-neutral baby.
“I had to explain to my ultra conservative parents that this was all a mishap. The baby’s definitely not sexually fluid or non-binary or what-have-you. She’s going to be a red-blooded American girl, but Rick’s idiot brother forgot to open the envelope with the doctor’s note, so he brought the wrong color,” said Mrs. Edwards, who is 23-weeks pregnant.
After a long moment in awkward silence, the couple grabbed some party poppers and blasted pink confetti into the air. Friends and family in attendance cheered, but now the lone jedi was confused about what had occurred.
“Rick asked me to bring my lightsaber, and light it up at the right time. And that’s what I did,” said Steven Edwards. “It’s not my fault they weren’t aware that I had left the Sith order for good. I’m a grey jedi now. Swore off red lightsabers for good. Maybe if my brother and his wife paid more attention to me, they’d have known that. And to be honest, who are they to proclaim the kid’s gender anyway? A purple blade makes the most sense until the kid can choose their own gender.”
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