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CANON: Joe Biden Blew Up the Death Star

Image by Jim Lawson

Breaking news! Pablo Hidalgo has come out of his self-imposed exile on Twitter to announce it was Joe Biden who blew up the Death Star, not Luke Skywalker. This was shocking to everyone, as it was thought to simply be a joke since Mark Hamill recently announced his endorsement for Biden. Hamill himself has since backed Hidalgo’s “canonizing” of Biden’s trench run.


When we asked Hidalgo why he retconned the entire saga by placing a real world person into the X-wing cockpit, he simply turned his privacy setting back on. We never got an answer. We then turned our sights on Hamill who had the following to say:

“Blue 46 is standing by. Tune in for the Virtual Conversation about Hope & Democracy with President Biden on June 30th. I will be moderating the event.”

We are looking forward to the first canon story featuring Mr. Biden and whichever young female brunette he tries to touch or sniff first. Will it be Rey? Leia? Q’ira? Let us know in the comments below or on social media.

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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