New Mom Certain Baby Yoda Hates Christmas Gifts
PEORIA, IL—After two months of planning and preparing, new mom Anne Singletary believes Baby Yoda’s first Christmas was an absolute bust. “Grogu didn’t coo once. He would just roll his eyes and fall asleep every time I opened one of his presents,” said the 32-year old orthodontist assistant.
At first Singletary believed her 50-year-old newborn was faulty, but after a few hours discussing the matter with Baby Yoda mom support groups online, she confirmed there was nothing wrong with the toy. “I was scared beyond belief, because in my frustration, I shook him several times and left him face down in the crib.”
According to the distraught mother, Grogu’s eye-rolling began when she gifted him a sparkly pink unicorn and only got worse with the matching pink headband.
“I wanted us to be twinsies, but I should have given him some boy gifts, too. Who am I to force my gender onto him? Next year I’ll mix things up a bit. I’ve already pre-ordered the 50-inch Nerf Amban Phase Pulse Blaster.”
As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
