DJ Hired To Unlock Bitcoin Wallet Worth $270 Million
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—The story that rocked the cryptocurrency world has taken an even stranger turn. Stefan Thomas, the programmer who forgot the password to a Bitcoin wallet worth $270 million, has enlisted one of the galaxy’s foremost code breakers to help crack the encrypted USB drive. No, not a droid or the ghost of Alan Turing. Thomas has hired none other than rogue hacker DJ last seen selling out Resistance heroes to the First Order.
“I’ve only got two password guesses left, so I brought in the big guns,” said Thomas who reached out to the infamous slicer over the dark web. “If anyone can crack the IronKey, it’s DJ… he eats bio-hexacrypted codes for breakfast. This should be a cakewalk for him.”
As a morally ambiguous member of the intergalactic gig economy, DJ is also excited by the opportunity. In fact, he’s already scheduled a hackathon with Thomas for this weekend.
“[mumble] [mumble] partner. Good coins [incoherent] Ah t-t-t-hey lock you out t-t-t-oday [mumble] lock you out t-t-t-omorrow. Let me learn you something big. [mumble] Don’t [sic] groin. C-c-ra-crack the Bitcoin,” said DJ.
No word on what DJ is charging Thomas for his code breaking services, but there’s likely to be a lecture or two on how to properly secure your passwords thrown in for free.
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