Binary Sunset Comes Out As Nonbinary
MOS EISLEY—After a period of self-reflection, the iconic twin suns of Tatooine have revealed they are nonbinary and changing their pronouns.
In a press conference held at sunset, the twin suns burned multiple messages onto a large dusty path outside of Mos Eisley.
“From this point on, we are a nonbinary sunset and we each prefer to be referred to as They/Them. We feel that this best represents the fluidity we feel in our gender expression, and allows us to be more authentic and true to the suns we’re still discovering,” read the first message.
As the suns continued to scorch their thoughts onto the surface, a pack of Jawas were burned alive, caught in the super heated rays of the moment. Not a single tear was shed by the pack of moisture farmers who had gathered to read every word written by the suns.
“We’re doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones. Please keep living your truths & know we are sending so much love and heat your way,” read the final message, now littered with smoldering Jawa corpses.
The twin suns, who drive much of the tourist revenue on Tatooine, have been inextricably tied to the galaxy’s biggest socio-political changes over the last 50 years. They are said to have inspired the Outer Rim territory’s favorite son, Luke Skywalker, to follow his destiny and ultimately topple the Empire.
However, critics are questioning the timing of the suns’ revelation. Some of the local crimelords believe it’s just a ploy to promote the upcoming Harvest Festival.
“It’s a misguided attempt to appeal to a new generation. And I’m not falling for it again. They pulled this stunt five years ago, too, claiming they identified as moons. Yeah, not buying it,” said Boba Fett, ex-bounty Hunter and new manager of Jabba the Hutt’s palace.
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