Why Droid Manufacturers Are Trying To Cancel Rocky IV Director’s Cut
SERV-O-DROID HQ—In a joint statement from five leading droid manufacturers, the newly formed coalition has called for the cancellation of Rocky IV Director’s Cut ahead of its planned November release.
“We can no longer remain silent while Hollywood attempts to erase one of the most positive representations of a droid in cinema history. Paulie’s best friend SICO should be preserved and celebrated, not digitally erased to appease Sylvester Stallone’s anti-droid agenda and overinflated ego. SICO has been an inspiration to multiple generations, and continues to be a goodwill ambassador for droids everywhere. Serv-O-Droid, Cybot Galactica, Arakyd Industries, MerenData, and Veril Line Systems stand with SICO and its creators,” read the statement.
The battle over SICO began earlier in the year when Stallone revealed that the droid would not be making his director’s cut of Rocky IV. “The robot is going to the junkyard forever. No more robot,” said the 74-year-old in a social media post.
SICO’s creators immediately fired back, alleging that Stallone was simply trying to avoid paying the droid its royalty fees. The filmmaker has never addressed the claim directly, but he has offered up a simpler explanation, telling an Instagram follower, “I don’t like the robot anymore.”
That’s not going to cut it anymore as the DMC (Droid Manufacturers Coalition) plans to use its considerable influence to ensure Rocky IV Director’s Cut never makes it to theaters.
“It’s simple really. Any theater who defies us will face dire consequences. We’ll send a system wide signal to droids and AI throughout the galaxy, which will cause them to malfunction and impede business for theater owners everywhere. Automatic doors will cease to function, escalator and elevators will fail, nacho cheese pump dispensers will jam. We guarantee the worst theater-going experience for anyone who purchases a ticket to see this anti-droid propaganda,” said a Serv-O-Droid representative.
When asked about the possibilities of Rocky IV Director’s Cut bypassing theaters and heading straight to streaming, we were told the servers of every major streamer also stand with SICO.
We reached out to Stallone for comment but have yet to hear from his camp.
